Beneath the stains of time

by In Darkness I Dwell   Sep 7, 2009


Night after night I stare at the sky
Alive but I wish I could die
There is a deep silence in the darkness
And I stand here contemplating this great dimness
Telling my tragedy
And every tale about me
I listen to the overwhelming sound of my heart
Smothering me and tearing me apart
I gaze at the gleaming stars
And think about my inane dull scars
A strike of agony made me yell as pain was so supreme
It was bigger than I could deem
Sooner sun will shine
And I’ll lose every sign
Of existence
And persistence
I want the dark to cover the day
Because brightness leads me astray
I weep to myself
Cos feeling doesn’t exist upon me
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings just disappear

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    A very deep write lol. . Full of emotion and distress. You have expressed yourself well, and the reader can just enter your pain, Lol. Wanting the darkness to cover the day... these words go so deep, and just touch the readers heart. I also liked your opening line.. how night after night you stare at the sky... it's as if you are looking to it for answers ( I love night time and the sky, when everything is so calm and still.. lol ) This is a well written piece :) and I look forward to reading more of yours! Well done :)

    All the best and take care,
    Olwin.

  • 14 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    A very deep write lol. . Full of emotion and distress.

  • 14 years ago

    by broken soul

    Hey not bad!!

  • 14 years ago

    by InvisibleHourglass

    Watch your rhyming. If you need to really strain the lines to fit you'll have to reword. it was enjoyable and you should keep writing, I'd love to hear more.

  • 14 years ago

    by Aureus Argentum

    That's beautiful! : ) Although I have one suggestion.

    <Night after night I stare at the sky
    Alive but I wish I could die>

    In my opinion, I would change the second line to...

    <Alive but wishing I could die>

    :) just my opinion. Beautiful piece! So powerful and profound.

    5/5

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