Comments : Symphony of soul...

  • 14 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Very beautiful and heartfelt, Kelleyana...

    To have that once in a life time love is so special...be very protective of it;)

    I enjoyed this very much,

    Je t'embrasse

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 14 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Using prose for a love story works well with this. Not the normal verse after verse to talk about intimate moments and thoughts. Well done.

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Such an adorable write. Extremely beautiful and written well. Liked the prose here, it was a bit different. Nicely done.

  • 14 years ago

    by Gasttlee

    "With time love flourishes our hearts and we harvest all loveliest flowers"

    This poem screams love and you capture plenty of feeling and sincerity.

  • 14 years ago

    by divine divinity

    Excellent poem. So expressive of a natural and beautiful love. I liked the story telling style of your poem, really made it feel more realistic and helped to say the depth of the emotion.

  • 14 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    This write is simply beautiful, with lovely
    descriptions laced with warm feelings..nicely
    written!

  • 14 years ago

    by Cindy

    Kell
    What a beautiful poem of love :) The story you told brought the reader right into the picture you painted for the minds eye. Congrats for placing with this in the team contest :)
    Cindy

  • 14 years ago

    by Stephanie

    "Sitting on the shore, while my feet blissfully sinks in the sand,ignoring that behind me sitting my future dream man."
    - I think that it should be "sinks in the sand, ignorning that behind me sits my future dream man."

    "Before saying a single word, I know its pure love from the very start." - Awh. <33

    "With such a heat no wonder its summer time, lazy days and hot nights, the temperature rise keeping our moods alive."
    - I love the connection to summer here, it's very beautiful. :]

    "We found each other, our stream of lights flows together and a single shines our united beings."
    - I think you should take the 's' off of flow. And I'm not quite sure what you meant by the last bit of this line...?

    But nevertheless, this was quite a beautiful love poem, and I enjoyed reading it very much. [Sorry if you thought I was harsh, I'm a grammer snob. Haha.]

    Lovely poem.
    [5.5]
    - Stephy (:

  • 14 years ago

    by Rocky

    That was some nice prose, but the flow of it made it excellent. i only had to read it once to find where to put the half pauses and where to slightly accentuate the last sylables of words in the sentences. i dont know if you wrote this to be read aloud but it i feel it should be read aloud.this is just a thought because i write in a similiar style and all my stuff is meant to be read aloud ,but i find it is easier to break the sentences up showing where the last sylables of certain words should be slightly stressed or where half pauses are. an example from this poem would be

    "Observing
    the cloudless blue sky
    that gleamed its light on me
    taking my heart
    to the right direction
    it always wants to be
    Its warmth quiver the mood
    and my humor a pure delight"

    if read aloud like that it has a true natural rythm and flow to it that make it excelent

  • 14 years ago

    by Rocky

    I bet this want meant to be read aloud wasnt it? send me a pm if you can to assuage my interest please

  • 14 years ago

    by Steady Stereotype

    "Observing the cloudless blue sky that gleamed its light on me,taking my heart to the right direction it always wants to be. Its warmth quiver the mood and my humor a pure delight."
    ^This started off simple, you used magnificent words to simply paint a picture. With light metaphors of imagery, in a way perhaps I can even describe it as elegant? "It's warmth quiver the mood and my humor pure delight" This was beautifully written, poetic and rather simply beautiful.

    "Sitting on the shore, while my feet blissfully sinks in the sand,ignoring that behind me sitting my future dream man. Our eyes came in contact and absorbed each others hearts. Before saying a single word, I know its pure love from the very start."
    ^Again you began with a picture here, and I'm really starting to love this style. And as your eyes made contact as you describe, it's a sweet cliche thought that you made your own. "Absorbing each others hearts" that was absolutely beautiful.

    "Suddenly a wave of desire swept me off my feet,
    when he smiled with warmth and proffered his hand to meet. With such a heat no wonder its summer time, lazy days and hot nights, the temperature rise keeping our moods alive."
    ^ Beautiful diction here, you used a synonym of sorts once again to switch around the words beautifully. "Proffered his hand to meet" I absolutely love your choice of words. Though after that first sentence, you lost me slightly with the next few words, perhaps the rhyme scheme?

    "With time love flourishes our hearts and we harvest all loveliest flowers of our souls,and through our affection this eternal light that shine from above reminds us that our souls were destined to be together and since
    We found each other, our stream of lights flows together and a single shines our united beings. "
    ^ While you desribed this beautifully, I think you lost all sense of pattern here, though it was still very well written. Perhaps adding in a period would have made this easier to read?

    Overall, I loved your choice of words in this, and the magnificent flow in the beginning. You were able to paint a rather beautiful image in my head, even if you lost me slightly near the end. The beginning I believe was magnificent poetry, though the rest seemed to saunter downwards to a four. 4.5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Second to None

    I loved it. it flowed very well. was it meant to be read aloud. cause i think i would sound veryyy nicely

  • 14 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    What more could anyone ask for in a love poem The rhythm and rhyme blends perfectly with beautiful imagery to reflect the feelings of being in love

  • 14 years ago

    by Steven Topaz

    Ok first off, I came to your profile looking for this poem, and when I saw it was a love poem, the comparision between a symphony and the harmonic music that accompanies the name its self and the genre is very attractive and original.

    I'm sure you've had people tell you that you should put it into poetic phrases, but the plus side to complete freeverse, is that people will say the ryhmes to themselves without realizing it. Subconcious things are best.

    The description of the first verse is outstanding. But, it didnt equal the title of your poem, not saying that it should have to do something with a symhpony of any sort, but just saying it didnt draw me in or "slap me in the face" with the lyrics.

    Again the subconcious part to the ryhming catches your attention and makes you go back and read it, so PLEASE dont start writting in verse. this is really rather quite enjoyable and i haventbeen on this site in months. The standard love at first sight, but in much more descriptive words and feelings. Beautiful. Nothing really wrong here, simplistic ryhming and beat. I have to change classes so This is the first half of my comment :).

  • 14 years ago

    by Steven Topaz

    Sorry about that, but im sure you dont mind, recieving one more comment on that first page probably wakes you up anyway,

    theres a sporadtic ryhme in this verse the third one, and it just throws off the beat a little bit, whether it was meant to happen or it was just an alliteration, it took my attention off of the continuing flow and such and made me look at that. OR it could just be free verse ryhming without a pattern if you were to try and place it into poem format.

    I dont have enough time to go into depth about this last verse, but, I have read it all and its a far above average poem, id give it a 4 but i wont want to scratch your 5.0 with a 4, theres just nothing extrodinary which is a synonym of excellent.

  • 14 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Such a romantic write.. So beautifuly penned.. I could see little hearts all over :) dripping with love.. A wonderful read

  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    This was a lovely poem dear, I felt that you put alot of emotions into and told a very common story. I don't read many love poems but I enjoyed this one. It was done well and it wasn't sappy and cliche. I love the imagery and your original ideas. A very strong poem. Keep it up hun. Nik

  • 14 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    Since some of the lines rhyme, maybe you would want to seperate your stanzas into four line verses ? It would make it a little easier to read . And there are also a few grammar mistakes .. But thats a minor detail. I really like the content of the poem as well as your wording , you make it very easy to relate to , but also very personal . Very well done , 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Samuel Dimafelix

    I like to comment, but theres no more i can add. But to keep it up.

  • 14 years ago

    by WakingFreedom

    I thought it was really hmm... to find a word for it would be hard. The one that is most closest to beautiful...yet even more beautiful...like the beautiful of the beautifulest. If that makes sense. 5/5. Keep up good work. =]