The nothing horizon

What am I doing here?
Making everybody else's life harder...

Why did I come here?
Making myself physically understand that I dont belong...

Where am I going?
To that blotchy, unclear horizon,
they call 'future'...

What does it consist of?
Nothing I want.

Then why are you still alive?
Hope is a mandatory thought,
even when failure is clear.

What if hope is nothing?
Then my will to remain alive,
will match my desires on my blotchy,
unclear horizon, they call 'future'...