I really like this so far :) it's like a love story and captivates you from the beginning. you're a very talented writer :) well done :) 5/5

It's definately lyrical . You should seperate the word "noone" , because i thought it was a different word entirely at first . I don't like the cake line , it's kind of really cheesy . I think you can do alot with this , i like your idea but there is still alot of work to be put into it . 4/5

Well written, I like how its not to sappy and you put just the right amount of emotion in it.
My favorite lines were:

But not to worry because I've got a plan
To save you from drowing and pull you to land

I love how these lines play out, how you describe someone else beaing trapped in a whirl wind storm, and your on the outside reaching for that persons hand. Nicely done

5/5

I like the way this flows, and it flows so well. It doesn't jump, it carries. Awsome piece.

I enjoyed it! i cant wait to read the next part. :)

Excellent poem...i have no words to explain... I gives you 5 on 5 (5/5) because there is on way to give more points to a poem.

Keep up the good work

I find this poem very exciting with very romantic imagery. I also sense a personal touch

very contemperary

"But not to worry because I've got a plan
To save you from drowing and pull you to land
Take a walk with me... "

These lines were the most touching. They struck me the most and I love the 30 minute passing part. Gives a feeling of suspense and subtlety. This poem overall was great.

Very very cool. this must have been a fun poem for you to write. I favorite part in this is,

It's hard to believe that no one's jumped at the chance To treat you like a Queen; show you romance

Im on to read part two of it.

also... I noticed you miss spelled drowning in the last stanza. You'll want to fix that.

Ok i like its its really sweet and the end take a walk with me was my favorite its adorable!!!