Goodbye 2009

Its New Years Eve again, the countdown has begun…
I’m not sorry to say goodbye to 2009, its done nothing kind for me
2009 brought me nothing but pain and sorrow…
I am sorry that you couldn’t be here to see in 2010 with me….

Time has passed it is now early 2010 those first few hours when you can’t believe the new year has already begun.
Early 2010 it doesn’t feel like time has passed since you left this world
My heart still seems to be stuck in that moment and my mind seems to still be on that day in July, it feels like time has frozen the day you lost your fight.

I hope 2010 doesn’t bring me half the pain it brought me in the year just gone…
I doubt I could watch someone I love die all over again…
I hope and pray not to have to watch a parent die
I hope I don’t lose anyone I love
The pain is too much… besides didn’t I lose enough loved ones in 09

My endless thoughts are of my mother this new years morning
Her battle with cancer was fierce and painful
But devastatingly the cancer won…
She succumbed after a few short months

I can’t seem to get her out of my mind
Because to have her not in my thoughts… is fear that I shall forever lose the warmth she gave to me…

So this New Year I Hope no other family goes through the things I have.
This new years morning I watch out the window, seeing the storm, and also seeing the mother I love in all the glory of her life before seeing the lady I love fighting something so evil a second time and losing