I Promise

5\5 i think it's a good one my friend

I'm not sure how I feel about this piece. It feels like it's well written, but I don't feel any connection to it. There's something about it that stops me from being gripped by it. Perhaps it's a lack of depth or emotion I'm feeling. Perhaps it's the subject matter, though admittedly, it's unique angle intrigues me. Also, I think the first three stnazas could be filled out a little, so they're the same length as the other three.

Brad

P.S. Please comment and vote honestly on every poem that you read.

Awww sweet lol i can tell it comes from the heart... great read/write

I realy like this poem.
I just like the feeling of promises and everything they mean and everything it doesnt mean when people break them.

well done :]

Aww, wow really good. i liked this one better i would give this a 5 because....

1. i like titles that you dont know what it will be about, the word promise doesnt say exactly what the poem is about but as many of us have bad experiences with promises being broken we always look to see what its about!

2. the layout is my favourite, makes it easy to read like Mind Block.

3. you also punctuated this one with capitals which i just feel gives the poem more life.

4. it ryhmed and flowed quite well, and was an enjoyable read from start to end.

5. the only reason i gave this an extra point to make 5 is because reading this made me think back to the ring i was given, and i think if i were to try and writ a poem about it, it would be very simliar to this. :)

suggestion to fix... 4th stanza, 3rd line
"One larger jewl in the middle"
jewl should be jewel.

my favourite stanza was...

" This ring means more
Than words can say
It's a promise for you
To forever stay"

i liked this best because i thought it spoke for itself and summed the poem up. the ring spoke louder than what any words could have, in life actions do sometimes speak louder than words.

well done, i enjoyed the read, take care. xxx