1st and 2nd line were very true. Very good way to start your poem.
I loved the wording for 3rd and 4th. It was great.
entering the 2nd stanza, i could feel strong emotion, a very sad feeling. felt like you were opening the old wound when you wrote those lines.
There was still very deep emotion written in the 3rd stanza. Loved it, but i loved 2nd better. =)
take a look at your 3rd line :
"Although token wishes an dream filled kisses are merely ways to cope"
maybe you want to revise it. =)
in my opinion, the last two lines weren't the best way to end your beautiful poem. but it's just me, a newbie. =)
Well you've done it again my friend, left me with my words all jumbled and not knowing where to start....
First off the title as incredible and the way you ended with the title to me was superb! I truly loved the last two lines! And also the lines Britt pointed out! Very good imagery, all I could picture was little children throwing pennies into a fountain!
You pen your poetry so amazing that it leaves me wanting to read more and more. That my friend means you're an excellent writer!
loved it! 5/5
Sweet December indeed, i loved the touch at the end of it with the date. the only line i thought was abit strange was "We never wait or hesitate to ponder the cost between love and loss", i just think it felt like the second line was thought out very clearly but the first was rushed
It starts so quietly and builds itself in the heart and mind like and orchestra... Just long enough to leave the reader wanting more! You explained what life is in such a simple way, such that its confusion, if life were ever to be spelled out and presented, THIS would be the short and sweet answer. My favorite line hands down was this: "Like children before fountains dreams are coins, we wish, kiss and toss." What else is there to life but the adventure of the dream? Your ability to capture has enraptured me. Amazing job!!
I relate to this poem so much, only because one of my biggest fears in life and that I can't seam to remember the past years like I seem to see other recall. I feel that the most valuable thing we should cherish is our memories. I've actually gone as far as to think of ways to save my memories aside from journal writing. Anyway... Its so true that often time's the memories that don't fade away are the ones that have hurt us. May we all remember the good one's more.... here's to that.
I find myself envying your heart, friend. So many hearfelt feelings within you.
The images in your poetry take me to many different places, many different times. Your talent is real, and deep. Keep it going.
(Sorry it took a while to get back to read your poem when you read mine)
this poem was great. I kind of felt like it was a song at first I mean thats what went through my head which it does not matter because it was great. There are things that you do not want to forget or you really do not have a choice of letting go. Either way there will be something that is given from this poem and it told a story.
keep it up.
keep on writing.
love always and forever.
One of my favorites so far!
This poem is simply amazing. The way you described our memories and feelings as they may fade away with time, or stay engraved to our hearts. The imagary features and rhyming took my breath away. The flow here is also amazing. Simply a perfect piece 5/5
This piece is wonderful. I wish I could critique you, but I see nothing wrong here. Every line just radiates love and sadness both. You have captured beautifully how it feels to love, and how it feels to lose. Your vocabulary is great, as well. This is an absolutely brilliant poem.