My Wife

In the first stanza, i loved the opening lines. I would re-write the second lin some though; it seems broken with too many pauses in it. HER EYES .......... MARVELOUS GEMS ........... PROVIDE THE HEAT OF LIFE. It sounds good when you add the spacing, but i think it would flow better if written like HER EYES ARE MARVELOUS GEMS; PROVIDING THE HEAT OF MY LIFE. I personally think that it flows better that way.

The next stanzas are well written and help to the imagery of the write. Nothing really worth mentioning.

In the fourth stanza, i did not like the "their vows" on the end of the first line. It seemed out of place and threw off the flow. HAVING VOWED UNTIL DEATH DO THEM PART would sound better there.

The last lines were confusing to me as well. I HOPE SHELL GET INTO MY LIFE? From the title, i thought that you were already married, but this makes it sound like your waiting for her to marry you. Reading further, i think your not yet married, but it isnt certain whether your married or not.

Overall, the poem is well written. It expresses the emotions you feel for her and that the main reason of the poem.

Good job.

As a note, you might want to try some poetry with a looser format. I'd like to see what you could do without such a focus on the framework and with more of a focus on the actual content. That means shattering the rigid 4-lines-to-a-stanza-every-other-line-must-rhyme outline and just thinking about your phrasing, being artistic with your line breaks, and holding diction above all. Just a suggestion, and one that I give to a lot of people.

This poem was crystal clear with a nice progression from the passionate dreaming at the beginning to the wishing at the end, revealing that this joy is something you haven't even experienced yet. My favorite line:
"Rings glitter in the light of a chandelier". I vote 5/5.

I love the way it written it paint a beautiful picture in minds eye