Please tell me that you do,
because, well, I remember you.
It's OK if you have forgotten me,
and it's fine if you don't recall.
I don't shine anymore,
I just seem to
You don't fade-
you don't disappear,
and people who shine that bright-
they wouldn't remember me.
So, I understand.
Inside I'm perfect,
even to one such as you,
who can't even seem
to remember the person,
that once meant SO much to them
I really loved this poem. I liked how you didn't break up each form. It makes the piece flow better and it has such an impact on the reader. I loved the way you opened it was well. It seemed so simple and then you changed up. I'm glad you joined the contest, seems like you did a good job with making the forms work together. Great work :] Nik
I really like thiss and your a really good writer... and I think I can learn a lot from you, I can really relate to this and its completely understandable.. Reading this peom makes me thinking about what im really feeling right now
Wow, such a simple poem but it rings true in many ways. Easily relatable. I found myself reminiscing multiple relationships that follow along the same lines. Lately I feel as though I've burnt out and one of my ex's still burns brightly; I figure he's long forgotten about me. It also reminds me of someone I am currently in love with - he is a burning star in the atmosphere and next to him, I'm nothing.
Great write. Some words seemed excessive, but it made the poem grounded, modern, and personal. Definitely not gruesomely flowery, this is something straight from the heart without revision.
I would put a period after the last line, but that's me and you're you!