Yes, agreed..when you lose hope, you lose your way.

This poem was special because of the way you wrote it, with the "confessions"as seperate stanzas.

Lovely imagery, Nana, as only you can shape them:)

But there is somebody within me
always transcending reality
A companion of wisdom
yet a victim of truth

^^

Lol, this is me too :)

Well done hunni,

5/5 Ingrid

Interesting ending. it was my favorite part. i also noticed this repeating part.

A companion of wisdom
yet a victim of truth...
A companion of nature
yet a victim of life...
A companion of patience
yet a victim of wrath

these compilation of parts were all very interesting and unique.

but im having a little trouble with some aspects of this poem...

you say it was written for a contest about patience? but this poem does not seem to be about patience. it seems to be about an inner companion you take with you that holds you back, or maybe even protect you. and along the path you loose sight of who you are, and when you loose sight of who you are, you loose your path.

unfortunately no single stanza seems to relate patience, beside the ending, even it did not relate very strongly. or at least i didn't notice it.

or if it did, i had a hard time catching the meaning and how it related to patience. but if that is true, that means that there is a failure on both our parts. my failure for not understanding how it involves patience, and your failure to properly express how patience is involved.

i hope that didn't sound mean. i don't want to be. this is a very nice poem and i DID like it. but i don't think it is about "Patience." you should re-title it something that would better represent what the poem is expressing.

4/5

~Kuro

All June I instill roses in streams;
I end up next season collecting
fusty leaves!
To retract or implant, disappointment
distracting my eyes

*But there is somebody within me
always transcending reality
A companion of wisdom
yet a victim of truth
^^^Let me explain my points...in the 1st stanza u can see how I was ending up each new June collecting the fusty leaves..of the roses I was planting...but even then..i was replanting again and again...cause the companion which is the voice of patience was pushing me not to give up..and do it again.
Asked too many questions
as I waited too long
Whenever I held my pen
to write down my shameful resignation
somebody held me back..

*Planting a new mysterious journey
Igniting hope through me..
A companion of nature
yet a victim of life
^^^u see ? Igniting hope through me..aand its in my nature to be patient..yet a victim of life cause sometimes it crosses the limits till we give up

Still years passed me by,
from June to June ;
weeping more goodbyes..
For each rose that festered
too soon.
^^^it was happening again..

*As I completely lost the voice
that once used to arise in me..
^^^till I ran out of patience

A companion of patience
yet a victim of wrath
^^anger here played its roll ..since i was fed up trying to implant again..

-It's only as you start losing hope-
you start losing your path

^^and wen ur anger beats ur patience and u lack hopes for success..in a way and another u lose the right track

:) hope this hepled

I can atest to losing your way when faith is lost. It's a dark lonely road no matter how many friends are around. Written a bit differently then other poems I have read, ,making it enjoyalbe and interesting

It's only as you start losing hope-
you start losing your path

How true this is!! When hope is lost all else
vanishes with it leaving one in a hopeless
situation. While reading this poem it felt like a conersation within oneself..a deep write indeed.

This is great you delivered a strong message that flowed so smoothe and as free as the seasons

Authentic delivery with enough raw, and simultaneously deep, insights to create quite clear communication
of your intentions..

examples:

"A companion of wisdom
yet a victim of truth

A companion of nature
yet a victim of life

A companion of patience
yet a victim of wrath"

"....there is somebody within me
always transcending (so-called) reality"

there is somebody within you alright..
.....YOU!

Seeking our balance is
how we stay busy
while being patient..

Great piece nana! I love the ending, and the truth instilled. I really like what you did with lines 8-9, 17-18 and 26-27. HOW CLEVER!

A great write nana!

`All June I instill roses in streams;
I end up next season collecting
fusty leaves!
To retract or implant, disappointment
distracting my eyes`
^A brilliant opening stanza, which emphasizes patience in a unique way - couldn't have said it any better myself. Interesting word - fusty, I never heard of that until today.

A companion of wisdom
yet a victim of truth
^I loved this, it sounds like a famous quote, it's that powerful...perfect wording here.

*Planting a new mysterious journey
Igniting hope through me..
A companion of nature
yet a victim of life
^Loved the continuation of the metaphor...using the idea of replanting roses in the spring as they have died because of the winter. Also loved the repetition of 'A companion of... a victim of...' , love how it's kind of a paradox here.

POWERFUL ending, loved it! It's so true, once you lose your patience, everything seems to just fall apart. It's truly important to have in life :)