Comments : When You're Done Being Beautiful and Young

  • 13 years ago

    by Jad

    Amazing poem and though I am not a female, unless this was referring to me, I believe it is very heart warming and moving! :] I love the many emotions in this poem ranging from friendship to care to a longing to want to reach out to those who you cherish in your heart. The imagery in this piece is very breathtaking and I love the way you describe everything as it gives an image to the reader that he/she can play in their heads as they read the poem.

    "The day your feet tire and no longer run
    behind escaping clouds.
    The horizons I have been building for you;
    will be waiting."

    This is my favorite stanza out of all of them, as it gives a great sense of joy to this person. Also the imagery, as I have already mention, is really good in this stanza.

    All in all, I really liked this poem from the beginning to the end. Many ideas were given in this poem and you leave the reader with something to think about as they go about their day. Also the poem is somewhat thought provoking giving the reader one more thing to ponder over~ How will or what will happen when beauty and youth fullness is gone? Anyway before I babble on forever I will say one more time, as always, I am very proud of this poem and your work. Great job and keep writing.

  • 13 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Nana,

    I hear you in this poem, and I understand what you are saying and it is all true.

    As you realize that beauty revives
    immortally through lover's eyes.
    That people never get old,
    when they chase bitter truths rather than masked up lies.

    ^^
    These are the deepest lines I ever read, I think.

    In life we are lucky if we find the ones meant for us, the few we can truly call ours, that no one can steal from us, because they are loyal to us at all costs.

    Love you, pumpkin pie:)

    *big hug*

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 13 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    A very moving and Spiritually uplifting write....

    your own youth, precocity
    and depth of insight are aligned
    here in a most remarkable way...
    Indeed, IMHO, you are a philosopher at Heart..

    I would not change one word of this...However....
    your punctuation and grammar,
    in general,
    really do need some educated polishing...
    I suggest to you that Any book
    by Karen Elizabeth Gordan (readily available)
    on these 2 subjects will be of Great Use to you
    as well as being
    incredibly entertaining...'-)

  • 13 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    Well....maybe one, or 2 words....
    clarity, ya know....
    my time is so tight or I would indicate...

  • 13 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Oh this is very deep.. Some 'and's' could go away here and there...but its very lovely..some true love right there.

  • 13 years ago

    by hasan ali

    This completely got me mixed up.....amazing :)
    it stole ma attention ....so easily......amazing ....the way u descriced beauty and tat immortal desire to get it was breath taking ......i was like in heaven reading this :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This is very sensual, written with a flawless free flow. The imagery stands out and the words are brilliant

  • 13 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    This gave me a feeling of lonliness, not because of the wording but becuase I think we all long for that one that will be with us even as the wrinkles, appear, eye sight deminishes, and the brain is just a little confused. Still someone stays on

  • 13 years ago

    by Katy

    Nice :)

  • 13 years ago

    by abracadabra

    You have a ferocious sincerity and far-reaching vision. They stretch you, tear you from limb to limb, but you want it all, all here, for you and me to see. I can hear this from you, from your brimming heart.

  • 13 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Why can't I rate 10000000000 why??? Why *pulls hair out* I showed this to my teacher and she was speechless.. She goes like 'where did you got this from'? I'm like ' I have my people who know people,people who write this stuff' I just had to come back..to vote/read/add it to my favorites and leave my pointless comment again!!! Wellldooooooneeee!! Love love love iit..

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Read 125912759571-5791751

    was sharing this with a teacher today too

    x00x

  • 11 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    <3<3

  • 10 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Still in my top 10 xoxo

  • 9 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    I love this so much