Your candid sharing of true inner thoughts and soul searching is very inspiring to me

It goes without saying I love your style

You make me irrelevant -
out of balance,
unconscious that I
actually lose these roads
that lose me

^Awesome opening...loved it very much. Only thing I wasn't sure of was 'out of balance' - would 'off balance' still hold the meaning you were trying to portray? what you have seems a bit awkward to me.

philosophizing myself
from a heart beater
(full of rage)
to a lost person,
I pick these lines
beneath my feet,
searching for letters
to spell my name.
humming little prayers
as my mind pick reminiscences
and belongings
that are no longer mine,
^ did you mean to say 'quickly' instead of 'pick' to me pick doesn't make sense, aside from that I loved the expression of picking lines from beneath your feet, searching for letting to spell your name. this emphasizes the part of feeling lost and having to search for yourself, your name, who you are entirely. Couldn't have loved the way you put this more!

in fact I no longer know
who am I to know what's mine,
even these muddled features
trouble my senses, lost in the reflection
that emerges through
these panels to trick me
^In the beginning I wasn't quite sure about the repetition of 'lost' but essentially, that's what you are - is lost. So it only makes sense to emphasize that word as it is the feeling taking over you. Sadness just spews from each word, each time greater than the one before it.

Yes too irrelevant;
for I am my self's closest enemy
but you,
are my pain.
^You're a wise girl...you're right we are our own worst, closest enemy....interesting how you put the blame on someone else as they are your pain; you'd think by saying you're your own worst enemy that you inflict the pain upon yourself, but in this case it's someone else hurting you.

Definitely adored this piece, you can tell it was a bout of sadness, a brief moment that you felt down and needed to express your feelings, but you did it rather well. I think we can all relate to this feeling of being lost and trying to find ourselves. :)

I pick these lines
beneath my feet,
searching for letters
to spell my name.
humming little prayers

Definitely a feeling of innocence, youth and naivity in this stanza. A lost girl skipping along, picking things up off the street as she goes, humming songs and prayers taught to her by Sunday school or her parents. But the deeper meaning of spelling your name... a great hidden message of not being able to piece yourself together.

Great read Sunshine.

//I pick these lines
beneath my feet,
searching for letters
to spell my name.//
I was like wowww ... I interpreted this as someone who's trying to find himself/herself ... the meaning of his/her life .... and these lines describe it so well.

I loved the metaphors you have used. brilliant.

Nana, will you ever stop amazing me. I mean I turn around and there you are with more deep and beautiful poetry! As you can tell I'm amazed with this piece as I am with all your others. This poem holds a good strong message through the entire poem and I felt a sad message in your lines. The poem itself was fantastically written. I love the flow as it goes from line to line undisturbed and I like how this poem is in a strict meter but flowing freely. I tried picking out one line that really stood out but I was unable to as I thought the entire poem was wonderful.

In all I am really taken away with this poem and also your creative style. I love the images you paint in this poem and also the many great descriptions though sad are wonderful. Great job and keep writing.

You just keep on leaving me speechless.

You just keep on leaving me speechless.