A very powerful poem from start to finish. The title drew me in and the content kept me. I admire the strength you have portrayed here.
"though my life
is a constant delirium
and I no longer know
what to say,
what to do
what to be"
I think the very last line would be even more powerful if it were "Who to be". I think by stating "what to be" you are comparing it to career choices. You can be anything you want, but with the title and the nature of the poem "Who to be" would impact more of the dreams that MLK held for equality. Now please don't take this as criticism, it is only my opinion. You have penned an absolutely beautiful poem that is very worthy of front page material in my opinion.
Great Job and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Wow! I absolutely love this poem... It's so inspiring and I've been feeling down so it made me feel better! I really love the meaning of this poem and everything about the title to the structure and the words you've chosen are all perfect... It couldn't have been any better! Congratulations on the win! :) I'm going to favorite this poem !
9 years ago
This is definatly deserving of the win. Congrats miss Yaki. I am so proud of you. I knew it'd happen for you some day. I like the wording you used and your lay out. I enjoyed reading and the subject. Well done!!
Yaki, in your dreams you can be anything you want to be, you are free of struggles, free of the restraints that daily life has, you are not judged, or excluded, you are you, and you can be whatever you dare dream.
a beautifully simple piece, such an inspirational write.
I like the sense of determination that is obtainable from this piece. Though brief, the choice of words are powerful and the meaning is sure to hit home with many folks who will find it easy to relate. An excellent message and inspiring piece.