Drilled flesh

by Sean   Jan 23, 2011


Flesh tares in spiralling shapes,
stained beliefs drop in drips -
this heart has ran out of forgive,
love is a pre-boxed program;
lust is caged for this purpose.

---
Sean, 2011.

2


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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    I think you could possibly add to this piece, but it is in no way necessary, sometimes things get lost in the clutter, I like the raw feel of this piece, you have done a great job, nice work.

  • 13 years ago

    by Sean

    Sometimes said to be my problem, always get off to a good start but finish too early ;).

    Thank you, i may return to this later tonight armed with more whisky :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Sean this poem is really well written, I love the fact of your meter, and i love where you had this rhythm without even meaning to have one

    A very dark piece , that left a good impression about your talent

    Flesh tares in spiralling shapes,
    stained beliefs drop in drips -
    ^^^
    spiralling is with one l ? or 2 ?
    no it's one dude..
    bagh i donu but
    this is seriously a very well penned
    opening and i love the spooollyy dark wording of it.
    perfecto

    this heart has ran out of forgive,

    ^^
    this is a very sad thought, yet an excellent right..
    it's the worst thing in the world, not to be able to forgive others any longer..

    love is a pre-boxed program;
    lust is caged for this purpose.

    ^^
    I feel like the poem spoke what's against love..but with reasons,..however despite my disagreement I think you have done a fabulous job

    a 5/5