Comments : Fugitive Pigments

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Okay since you got it after I explained I will offer this explanation for the rest :

    Fugitive Pigments
    ^^
    are those that start to fade when exposed to sunlight..so i said :

    Disintegrate! (as in command)
    as I expose the light thats emerging from my eyes toward his pictures..

    which is is :as I expose
    your figurative panels, to
    the flames my eyes spill,

    in our polluted atmosphere,
    wet I brush the colors off
    your polychrome pigment.
    ^^^
    polychrome pigments..which contains various colors..which makes him unreal..moody..unstable..
    where I blur and spoil his images..

    Blur, unorganized you cling
    over my misty walls, utterly
    like a sculpture-in-the-round!

    ^^
    and now it looks the same for me, since it no longer represents something to see from one angle.

  • 13 years ago

    by Jad

    Really incredible this short poem is. You seem to really have gone for imagery in this poem and it is quite easy to see everything you try to describe and also watch all this happen. You seemed to have put emotions of hopelessness in this poem as you bring out your wrath in the verses. The poem itself was short but it went right to the point and I think it was fine just how it was.

    Every stanza seemed perfect and I couldn't find one that really stood out from the rest though I am sure there might be one you think did. :] You seemed to pen your words with great elegance and it really shows in not only this poem but all your poems.

    So in all, I think you are ever increasing as a poet and I can't wait to see what you have in store for me next. Your poetry is always a joy to read and I hope you never stop writing. Great job and keep writing.

  • 13 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Definitely an interesting write here. I liked the usage of the exclamation point that really added something to the poem & the voice of the writer. Sculpture-in-the-round was unique, I've never heard of that before to describe a dimensional object of some sort. This poem may need some work on the punctuation placing, however, hmm. Your poem would make a lot more sense to me if written like this -

    Disintegrate! as I expose
    your figurative panels to
    the flames my eyes spill
    into our polluted atmosphere;
    wet, I brush the colors off
    your polychrome pigment.

    Blur, unorganized, you cling
    over my misty walls utterly
    like a sculpture-in-the-round!

    ^It's tricky here, the punctuation, I think it's really hard to place it in the right spots, I feel like the way I've placed it may change the original meaning. I'm not sure. It's something you should play around though cause I got confused at times because the punctuation was not placed correctly. I could be wrong though, maybe I'm over thinking it. A poem out of the ordinary though, I like it.

  • 13 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Now you see....darling this is so weird... Yet so captivating I can't seem to even figure it out...In my prespective..I see at as if you were undressing someone...and you didn't like what you saw... You know:/ am I making any sense? And then it seems like you've uncovered someone to the world to see how twisted and wrong that person is ? Omg this is so abstract...why You play with my mind gurl? ...haha! Anyways I did like it though nice to stumble on something you don't really see often...mwa xox

    -Yakz