My death

I think about death a lot,
I think of what it would be,
I think about if I died,
what would happen to me,

not so much what would happen to me,
but to those i left without me,
Im not sure they could move forward,
but sometimes i'd like to see,

To me i'm not that important,
not that big of a loss,
i only think of my loved ones,
how they would pay the cost,

I wonder about my funeral,
if it would be a big event,
I can't see that many people attending,
i'd want to see who went,

I know my mom would be sad,
my baby brother too,
my friends would forget eventually,
like they always do,

No one makes me feel this way,
No one forces hatred upon me,
i've just learned with lots of time,
that i can't make myself happy.