**DISCLAIMER: This is my very ever spoken word poem, so please bear with the fact that i am not amazing at it. Thanks!
home boy, that's what they say the title would be
though no one really fathoms what that truly states, unless deciphered to the extent
because, to me, you're the boy that is so close to home when it comes to my heart
see, i realize that we've crossed the point of no return
yet you think, that just because it has happened, it is over and done with
and i understand, but you don't
you don't, see
see exactly where i'm coming from
once, twice, maybe even thrice
but no, this occasion in which our two bodies have intertwined in one sense or another has occurred more than just a few times
and i recognize that i hoped it could be more than nothing, but at this point it's nothing more than what it's always been
shooting down the ideas before i allow my heart to convince my mind of things i know that aren't a real possibility
but check this out
see, to you, i am just another innocent female who you've fondled while allowing your misconceptions of reality take over the better side of your judgment
this, leading me to become the hardest judge upon myself and the actions i let happen
because i, am too, guilty of this within the frame of time we had shared
blaming myself mostly for not stopping, but at the same time, coming to terms with the fact that this is not only my fault
i let that go, due to the fact that our friendship means more to me than the physical aspects of our intoxicated lust caught in the moment
feeling as if i am stuck in that moment, because it has repeated enough times for it to be a familiar sensation when you start to touch me as though it is an uncontrollable gesture that links us
due to our state of mind while so wrapped up in our hidden agendas, we have invited the opportunity of tragedy to masquerade
you see, i'm just trying to be at peace with the decisions i've made all the while knowing that i'm hurting myself
which makes me question what is worse; damaging myself by not halting, or giving you the opportunity to damage me despite the fact that this could have been prevented if you would have never approached me
but the real question isn't who is to blame, it is who will take the first step to forever ceasing this temptation
this temptation that will ultimately be the destruction of the one thing left of our innocence....
friendship.
