It just isn't enough

The first hit I take leaves me lightheaded what I needed all along
I hide it from my parents because I know that it is wrong
Six dollars a pack, I know I can afford it
Anything I'll do just to get one more hit
But my urge grew too much
I needed something stronger, I needed something that would last much longer
I grew to adapt to much bigger and better things
Only to find much better ties and offerings
But when I moved up in this hell of a world, To only find that this drug was no joke
The first hit I take, my lungs fill with thick smoke
I start to choke and wheeze, gasping for air
But that didn't stop me, I needed more than what was just there
I take another hit and I start to feel the high
It took away the feeling of constantly wanting to die
I sit around as the days grow longer
A constant search to find a weed much stronger
It got to be too much, my trips started to take over
My mind full of bad memories and morbid thoughts of all kind
I couldn't take it anymore, there had to be something else I could find
But then I found my best friend, his name was Jack and he was absolute
He introduced me to his friends, of all different kinds
One that turns you into a monster and ones that were formal that you could drink with a suite
The friends that can help you, leave all bad thoughts behind
But these are the friends that make you forget about all the good times
The lonely lights seem darker and the parties grow to be boring
I want something better, something new, more alarming
So I try something amazing, with a name that can't be forgotten
My one true love and her name is Oxycontin
I take my first pill, she leaves me limp and very tired
But soon I get bored with her, only one got me more wired
I need her more but this time i need two
I up the dosage it's what I want to do
My breathing gets slower and my vision starts to deplete
The more that I realized, it made my life complete
Everyday was something new I started to take more
She helped me with the pain, no more being sore
Now I'm up to my ears with pills of all kind
Many different types that could blow ones mind
Yesterday I was at 7, today I move up to 8
My life close to gone, I didn't realize it before it was too late
But I didn't care, I just wanted to die
I wasn't going to hide it anymore, I didn't want to lie
I might feel numb but it is the pain that i now need
Something i now long for, it's the knife that I need
The blood was a lust, it was nothing I could ever love
But it was the only thing i had when push came to shove
The days went on where I grew tired and gained more scars
I'm just waiting for the day that I'm behind deaths door
But my life was still not complete, there was something I needed
Everyday was the same and I begged and I pleaded
I needed something to save me from this life of regret
I wanted something to give me hope of someone to help me forget
The days went by and nothing seemed to change
I grew to realize this was so I was about to offer my soul
to the devil for more drugs in exchange
But the day finally came it was the 26th of January
The day an angel walked into my life, God had sent her for me
She taught me how to love and helped me with my life
Now I can see my future with her as my potential wife
She made me realize that no drug can fill that empty void
It was only that in which would have left my life destroyed
So now i have new hope, no fears and a whole new look on the world
And it is only her that I can say that I need is my girl
So my days grow brighter and my thoughts feel warmer
It's something I want forever, always, maybe longe