Today my mind is focusing in on the words
of the song John Denver made famous,
"Poems and Prayers and Promises".
The words just seem to fit
where I am today with depression."
John Denver's words:
Poems and prayers and promises
and things that we believe in,
how sweet it is to love someone,
how right it is to care..."
Poems, clearly, are the ones flowing through
my heart and mind and fingers now.
Also the many poems which I have written
in times of mourning and depression.
Those poems helped me so much,
just as this one today.
Prayers--all the people in my life who
have cared enough to pray for me,
and the people who still do,
especially my beloved Suzanne.
Promises--of two vastly different kinds.
Promises of the AA Program
found in the Big Book.
Promises which Suzanne and I made
to one another almost three years ago.
Of faithfulness, undying, unconditional love,
and deep belief in the goodness of each other.
"Things that we believe in" --
The faith which my Mom and Dad
and Nanna Small and many since them
gave to me and helped me to grow.
Faith in the God of my understanding,
always Jesus the Good Shepherd.
When one sheep is missing,
he makes sure the other ninety-nine
are safe and sound.
Then he goes far and wide
to find the sheep that was lost.
When he finds that sheep,
Jesus rejoices heartily,
"for the one that was lost has been found."
That is the God whom I came to know.
I once studied ABOUT God in seminary.
Now I have a relationship
with Jesus, who loves me more each day,
just as I am, and searches for me
when I am lost.
"How sweet it is to love someone,
how right it is to care."--
Since Independence Day,
I have thought much of the people
I love and those whose spirits I love
(those who have gone beyond our earthly plane): Mom, Dad, Pam, Rick.
The ones I love today:
sisters Jean and May,
peer friends Karen and Denise,
and, especially, Suzanne, the lady I love.
She loves me more than I thought possible,
and I love her just as much.
Last night, when she knew I was depressed,
she held me and took my tears,
and even hot me to smile and laugh a bit.
I felt better enough to come to work today.
Without Suzanne's love, I would probably
have stayed home and done blanket therapy,
which has never helped.
Suzanne and I bring so much love and hope
and faith into each other's lives.
Thank you, Lord. for these wonderful
people you have brought into my life.
I know that the ones who have died
are in your hands now, experiencing
the eternal love and peace
in your hands forever in heaven.
Thank you for being such a loving caring
presence in my life and in my heart and mind,
even when darkness of depression
seems to be so visible.
You banish the darkness,
and give me your kindly light.
Amen.
With apologies to John Denver and his estate.
7/11/2011
