Easing the pain

I cut myself today just to see if I can feel

Because the nightmares inside are becoming way too real.

The monsters are creeping and crawling through my skin.

I just don't know what to do or how to hold it in.

I'm too scared to let it out for what they all might say.

"Oh she's that screwed up kid who hurts herself everyday"

So I fake the smiles because it's easier not to explain

How I mar my body with cuts just to ease the pain.

Or how I think about suicide, putting a gun right to my head

And pull that trigger just so I can be dead.

Just to get rid of my problems, just to finally be free.

Just to be somewhere else where I can finally be me...

.