Sweet sacrifice

by The Po whet   Aug 21, 2011


It's not about the shame,
neither about the blame,
nor is it a game,
related to a name.

still we're licking past wounds,
still we're thinking whether things up to wound,
counting we are on the chance,
though we know it might bounce.

alluring are the merits,
painful as well the demerits,
one more isn't more,
from a cow comes one moo.

even eagles have egoes,
so does the selfish sell-fish,
toast not on a day of froast,
but to a toast on love;
let's make that sweet sacrifice.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenni

    I have to agree with Tara that I do not think it belongs into this category, you might think about moving it into Miscellaneous. It somewhat seemed as if you were focusing on the rhyme mainly while you neglected the content, which made it tough to understand. I do not think that it was as bad as my critique sounds now, sorry lol.

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I don't know whether I'd put this in this genre/category, but then where to put it, I don't know, maybe Miscellaneous.
    Anyways, The flow wasn't perfect, and I kind of had to read it twice to make sense of the last stanza, but other than that, a good job.

    Love
    Tara

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