My Decision

Sittin in my room
looking at these
white walls. Thinking
about all the stuff that's
going on.

Sometimes I get thoughts
that tell me it'd be better
if I was gone.

Everyone seems to be pissed
so I might as well give them
what they've all wished. Me gone,
them not looking back once,
just moving on.

All these thoughts of suicide
come into my mind, but how
to do it. Without feeling bad
about leaving everything
behind.

Cutting's too simple. It doesn't
take away the pain. It just hides
it when you hit that main vain.

Never said it wasn't effective
though. Every cut has a story
it'll turn into a diary carved
on my body. All the words
and tears I'll never say or
display.

Shooting is another
option, but a 14 year
old can't buy a gun and
bullets off an Ebay auction.

Last option is pills,
but I don't know how
fast that kills, My death
needs to be fast so it's
all part of my past.

I sit and think.
But now I'm not
focused. Is life really
worth all this hocus
pocus?

What about the
good, does it over
rule the bad? All the
times I went from
Happy to sad?

What about my
friends, will they
be okay with how
this would end?

I search for the
answers in all
my memories
were they friend
or enimies?

I go through all
the bad fights
and late nights.

Then one thought
hits me. "Tanesha
you're wrong, Rember
Ashley, she saved your
life, she doesn't want you
gone."

Tears were cried
at least I survived
all because Ashley
tried and didn't leave
my side.

Sitting in my room
I've made my decision
maybe this messed up
life is worth livin'

-Tanesha Tyler