"An invisible voice whispers
a promise of sweet repose
offering peace.
Cold steel warms in my
hand, target sighted as
tears accrue."

I love this stanza. Very powerful imagery in my mind. ^^ Great job with giving me the shivers from your amazing writing. Keep up the superb work. 5/5

TJ, this spoke to my soul! to the core of my soul, and the wording was not simple, it was very well managed..

Sad, and Aint I the sun you are asking for ? lol :)May you always be happpy and surrounded by love TJ..

nominated

Wow I like this no favorite stanzas cuz I loved all of it :) :) really great poem and I enjoyed reading it :) 5/5

This made me feel strange, I can close my eyes and imagine what suffering one must feel at this point. I pray this is just a poem and not an experience.

This was so well written, the flow and structure was brilliant. though it made me sad it's going in my favorites because it's unbelievable

This is one of the most profound poems I have read in a very long time. Terror at these thoughts grabbed me and would not let me go. At the same time it is beautifully written. Emotion that one never expects abound in this write and images of that person are stuck in my brain. I found myself wanting to hold them and comfort them, to ease the pain. Well done to you.

This write holds such intense feeling it sends
chills down my spine. The images are so vivid it just draws me into it. Very well written and liked each of the stanza.

I long for the sun to warm
me, for those I lost
to gather round .

^ these lines fit in to both your title and the context of those self-destructive attempts. I think this line, is the highlight of this piece.

The concrete images being used here, such as door and hallway totally fit with the theme , too.

One key principle to writing good dark poems is its precise word choice, and needless to say, you did apply it here, not just beautifully but effortlessly, too.

Keep it up!

The ghostly desolate feeling of your poem is haunting. You put me in the mind of this person who is singled-minded in his desire to check out. Especially like the line:

Let me find the door
in this minds hallway
that leads to forever.

I miss you. That includes your writing. So I hope I see more of you sir or I'll be a sad Nik. *hugs*

Wow, this is, wow. That's all I can say...

Without the love and comfort of those that belong to us, we are lost ,TJ.

You may not get(back) what you want, but I truly hope you will recieve what you need.

Glad you made it through:)

5/5 Ingrid

Darn good poem TJ, I liked the Title.
Suicides--Darkness and Doom
Prayer---Faith and Hope
Faith and Hope always beat out darkness and doom even when we do not see its affect immediately.
I would put an e on the end of lung and make it lunge though, I think I would.
Good to see you writing again.
Peace and Blessings

I don't know why I didn't came across this earlier. Your choice of words is amazing and they flow with ease. The title is already strong as it is, but then the poem, it's amazing. I like the imagies you portray and the feelings you convey.

Very deep poem.
Showing how death is the way out as it calls you closer to it.
Amazing(:
5/5

Lovely poem!

Wow that is deep

Always your pieces leave me in deep thought. I think this line speaks volumes...so many times the simplest of lines are the deepest:

I long for the sun to warm
me

I know this feeling well my friend. Glad you are once more among us. Take care of you!