The Secret

by Beautiful Disaster   Oct 18, 2011

Ill tell you a secret that no one else knows,
Itll give you a scare from your head to your toes!

The story starts with once upon a time,
I ended a life that wasnt mine.

All she did was beg and scream
The pleasure in my eyes did nothing but gleam.

As the blood gushed down through her ribs
I slowly watched as the life left the hollows of her eyelids

Theres not need to doubt me, all that was said is true
come with me and you'll see, my next secret will be you.

For inflicting pain is my great treasure
And the memory of this you will forever treasure


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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Lee

    I agree with jenni, just seems to draws you in..

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenni

    This poem is definately scary. I like the fact that you didn't point out the secret right away, but made the reader curious, which kept pulling me in more.
    I think this poem shows that curiousity can get you in all sorts of trouble though this is fiction after all, but sometimes it's still better not to be too curious.

    Back to the poem: I enjoyed reading this because the message it conveys is powerful and your words flow well.

  • 12 years ago

    by BlueJay

    This piece has a lot of "secrecy" as well as emotion. I think it is well penned and that you have done a great job. I think that this was well thought because with so few words you have created something amazing. Excellent flow and creative way of integrating the narrator's voice into such a strong piece. I really really like this piece. Fantastic job worthy of a 5 at least

  • 12 years ago

    by Sadespair

    I can relate to this. but not in the way where I think it's meant to be related haha. But still, relate none-the-less. beautiful.

  • 12 years ago

    by Beautiful Disaster

    Thank you ^.^

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