Ordinary

by Cinnamonspice   Dec 1, 2011


From my window a tree
looms high above the roof,
reaching majestically to
the sky.

Its leaves: ordinary yellow
patterned with the brown edges
of dying fall as winter
marches forth.
Ordinary:

Till the breaking of dawn
when the sun kisses each tenderly
bathing them in a heavenly
glow. Transforming, morphing
showering blessings.

My thoughts, my emotions
are as this tree. You transform
my life , shining on me with
happiness and joy. Of grace
and trust.

The warmth of friendship
rains down on me. Quenching
my thirst, drowning loneliness.
Sprouting the spring of tenderness
and rebirth of complacence.

2


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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by tainted melody

    The descriptivness of this poem was great...I could really visualize the scene...good job!

  • 12 years ago

    by Cinnamonspice

    Tara Kay at 2011-11-30

    Connie,

    From my window a tree
    looms high above the roof,
    reaching majestically to
    the sky.

    ^Awesome imagery, I'd just suggest adding a comma after from my window, to help the flow a little.

    It's leaves: ordinary yellow
    patterned with the brown edges
    of dying fall as winter
    marches forth.
    Ordinary:

    ^Ordinary, anything but girl, you really know how to make me smile don't you, and cry at the same time

    Till the breaking of dawn
    when the sun kisses each tenderly
    bathing them in a heavenly
    glow. Transforming, morphing
    showering blessings.

    ^Beautiful, All are blessed to have you as a friend girl xx

    My thoughts, my emotions
    are as this tree. You transform
    my life , shining on me with 
    happiness and joy. Of grace
    and trust.

    The warmth of friendship
    rains down on me. Quenching
    my thirst, drowning loneliness.
    Sprouting the spring of tenderness
    and rebirth of complacence.

    ^Such awesome stanza's, powerful, simple, with emotion and love, you are great girl, love you

    awesome flow, awesomness indeed

    Love
    Tara

    " Copied from my poem that was misplaced in someone else's account"

  • 12 years ago

    by Cinnamonspice

    Jad at 2011-11-30

    Goodness your poetry has improved so much and your words are so carefully placed and filled with a deep emotional meaning and love that only you and this friend of yours can grasp. The poem itself had a good steady flow, though I think some more punctuation would help it. The emotions behind your words however are very beautiful and deep. I'm sure that whoever this is for will greatly appreciate this.

    "Till the breaking of dawn
    when the sun kisses each tenderly
    bathing them in a heavenly
    glow. Transforming, morphing
    showering blessings."
    ^^^
    This had to be my favorite stanza out of your entire poem. The words were each vivid with imagery that came to life as I read each line. I was taken away with the scenery you created. You know how to captivate the reader and draw them deeper and deeper into your words, which is a very good poetic device.

    All in all, i am glad to see that your poetry has been improving and that you are putting as much effort as always into your work. However you wrote this for is very fortunate to have you as a friend. Oh, and I also like some of the metaphors you put into the poem as it created a good solid image with a good meaning. Great job and keep writing!

    "posted from a my poem misplaced in someones else's account"

  • 12 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow, Connie this poem is so beautiful! It a sweet poem that is like a breath of fresh air. I loved it from start to beginning. I really like how you compared friendship to nature in this way.. it was so lovely to read! The beginning and ending were all perfect and the poem flowed really well.

    This is my favorite stanza:

    Till the breaking of dawn
    when the sun kisses each tenderly
    bathing them in a heavenly
    glow. Transforming, morphing
    showering blessings.

    -- Amazing! Great job! Definitely worth a nomination!

  • 12 years ago

    by NightFlyer

    I really feel the preciousness of friendship now that I'm seperate from my best friend by many miles. So your analogy in your poem of a tree glowing with the rays of the sunrise is perfect. You paint a beautiful image here.