Comments : Once Blooming

  • 10 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Nitin, sadness is clear in your words. Gives the reader a sense of a person fading away, losing their future and slipping to the past, then slipping away from life. It seems the person is aware of what is happening to them through their emotions but helpless to stop it. Well done.

  • 10 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    Your poems always have so much depth and strength. Doesn't matter if it's love or sadness you put your all in every word.
    I really liked this , you penned what most of us feel from time to time, part of life I guess
    Excellent write, I've missed reading your work

  • 10 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Staring at mirror right through an empty vase

    ^^This line sets the scene and the mood for the reader showing the sadness that lies within.

    Drowning in tides of memories

    ^^I like how you have brought tide and memories together; when we lose ourselves within memories it engulfs us like the tide that is coming in...loved this line!

    While standing at the edge of a river
    Wondering if its the water shining
    Or may be my tears have turned silver

    ^^I could visualize a person standing in front of a mirror and that is what this reflects..well at least for me..very sad though.

    While dancing with flames of torture

    ^^Another great line! Dancing with flames of torture..the reader can feel the despair and undying hopelessness in this very line..

    Overall, a heart tugging write with emotions that runs deep. I also like the rhyme scheme you have used. Its good to read a poem from you after a long time..hope all is well with you. Keep penning!

  • 10 years ago

    by Lost Soul 691

    A write full of sadness that tears at my heart strings. "Now even my own reflection has left me"! This line made me sit back and reflect. How often do we look in a mirror and really see ourselves.

    An excellent write my friend. Now I'm off to "drown in tides of memories".

  • 10 years ago

    by Ray Blue

    Superb lines~

    These fingers have lost their grip
    Face doesn't smile anymore
    Once blooming with bright colors of life
    Now even my reasons are gone

    Good job! 5/5!

    Cheers,
    Ray

  • 10 years ago

    by Jad

    Hmm, yes the sadness can be read all throughout this poem in your words. Your feeling are poured into each line and echoed between the lines. The had a simple structure that was easily kept and a good flow though it did seem a little messed up with the rhyming you had. I could tell in places that you were forcing the rhyme. You would shape the stanza so it would fit the rhyme but it sometimes messed up the flow or messed up the imagery.

    "Drowning in tides of memories
    While standing at the edge of a river
    Wondering if its the water shining
    Or may be my tears have turned silver"
    ^^^
    This was a clever stanza and I liked the imagery in being drowned while you were only standing at the edge. Also the rhyming of silver and river was a bit forced but I think the stanza still carried itself. Your emotion made up for a lot in this poem. I could tell that you were writing your heart away into these lines and it is evident with each word of each stanza.

    Overall, I liked the poem and I think with some more adjustments this poem could really have a strong overall foundation and stronger message. Still the poem was effective in portraying your feelings and helping you open up. I am glad to see you writing and also improving as a poet. Great job and keep writing!

  • 10 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Deep and touching write. the imagery though sad is beautiful painted by your words.

    /Now even my own reflection has left me
    // very profound lines ... i relate it with a feeling of nothingness ... of worthlessness.

    /Accompany me to my funeral
    Dig six feet below to my future
    //
    I really loved the ending. so much sadness in them. beautifully expressed :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Jyoti Rawat

    This one is nice

    this one is best

    Drowning in tides of memories
    While standing at the edge of a river
    Wondering if its the water shining
    Or may be my tears have turned silver
    this one is nice

    this one is best

  • 10 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Well how did I miss this masterpiece! This was such a strong piece and I really enjoyed every word. Great work as always :] -Nik

  • 9 years ago

    by Giegielove Goddess Poet

    So touching words... Excellent!
    5/5 for you!