Hurting inside

Why did you ignore me all those times? What did i ever do to you? And now i won't ever know if you'll be proud of me. Now your gone. If you just new with how much pain you left me. But still i love you and miss you. I just wish things had been different between us. But now it's to late. And i'm still dealing with the hurt you left me. and the fact that your gone, I'ts so hard. I'm just so tired of getting hurt!! And still no one sees my pain or understands how i feel. Only why i can deal with my pain is to hurt myself and no one knows it. I'm hidding it. But how can know one see that hurt in my eyes. How can no one hear me cry. Will this pain ever go away?! What did i do to deserve this pain.