I still have dimples when I smile

I've been on this trampoline
lately,I've been going up
and down, up and down
from one side to the other..

heck,I've even thrown
some back flips here and there..

I've been trying
to jump high,
to make up for the times
I didn't jump at all..

..but we all know,
we can't recover
what is already lost.

and yesterday's
jump session,
threw me back on
the floors, of the houses
who cradled me
when my own was too much
to bare.

they've offered
me a room again,
like they always
do..

..but I neglected..

my old best friend's mother
told me, that the minute
I walked in, everything felt
complete

and even for a moment,
there she was reminded
of all the times
she watched us play,

she said,
I might not remember

but, there actually was a
time where I was flat chested.

she also said
I had gotten beautiful,
twice!,in one afternoon
but of course,
...I did not believe her..

didn't she see
the dirt beneath my fingernails?

I've been dusting
insecurities from my skin
and I've been carving for
purpose in the space
between my collar bones..

and I found some
yes,

its not much, but its something..

I've always thought
of myself,as something
easy to forget...

but yesterday,
I found out that some
people carry me like
a statue in their soul

imagine,
my friend missed
the lighting parade..

she said

"Its been to long
far too long without you"

she squeezed the air
out of me just then

a tear landed in my eyes..
and through the blurriness
I felt the dimples form in my cheeks..

I've been roaming around,
yes,

In all the wrong places..

because this,
is what warmth feels like.