Sad but well written. I really like how you expressed your pains in this poem, my favorite stranz is "Please tell me why you carry on without me? " This question tells the readers how lost and confuse you are without her. Excellent way to express how you feel, good job.
It is a strong poem, descriping the hard emotions of a break, i understand that
You made that part clear.
I would to know more of unsaid, the relationship and the deep stuff.
Some women and men are flower jumpers, like a bee, a little nectare here or there, It dosen't matter for them
Sometimes when a person writes, those feelings have to pour out...like a raging river....I felt the sadness...the feelings of broken hearts and it really moved me... There was a time where I felt this same pain....it was a dark time for me... keep on writing...letting it all out... it will get better...this piece really got to me.... thank you for sharing this with us...
Sad..but i feel you.cuz im in a similar situation too... but great poem... =)
8 years ago
by Half Husband Half father
Loved ur imagination, d start is good dat u saw a girl who is similar to ur gf, den u started d story u didnt tell d whole thing or u cn say some lines could b added here to make it more strong bt ny ways its a good poem 5/5
Sad, but crudely written. i saw no stanzas, or rhyme scheme here. its full of emotion but doesn't fair well next to a poem. this was more like a letter. maybe you could try rhyming and putting it into stanzas. it was good however. a lot of sad emotion pouring out of this. good job