Alone

I try to be happy,
The more I smile,
My tears want to set free.
Silence takes over me,
All i can hear is my heart beat.
As I lay down to sleep,
My head races, my hearts getting weak.
A smile I once had is now gone,
My tears come, I am so alone.
With my love laying next to me,
I wonder what is wrong with this girl I see?
He tells me I am beauitful,
But beauty I do not feel.
As I stare in the mirror,
My past I see, brings back all my fear.
I am shattered, broken, and torn,
I wonder why I was even born?
I wish everyday that things will get better,
once it starts looking up,
I get shot right back down.
My mind says to stop trying,
And my heart keeps crying.
I have lost myself,
I am nearing the end.
Why cant anyone see,
That I am not happy,
The only strength I have left is my lover and my son.
So I ask Lord one more time,
Can this pain be done?