Comments : Paris

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    I'm really going to have a heart attack.

    I'm just here on my bed, reciting Alysia "Paris in The rain" in my head, then I picked up my phone and I see you posted this..

    Even before I read it, I already had a feeling what it would be about, don't worry. She's been inspiring me too.

    This is too ironic for me to grasp right now, I'm like damn.
    But that was just in my head. How even...

    I'll leave you a better comment.
    This just tops my list of favorites by you. Damn.

  • 12 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    A travelogue of regret & nostalgia. While you bounce around the continent a bit haphazardly, I realized at the end it perfectly reflects your mental state: you are ambivalent as to whether you want these memories of him to be positive. As I said you both regret aspects of your relationship and feel a certain nostalgia for how he made you feel. Excellent use of his tales of exploits as a metaphor of the man himself.

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Make this longer, I want more... Ugh ueshhgcrfeded

  • 12 years ago

    by Meme

    OMG!! This is the best poem I read in a while, I have to say that I was captured by the title istself since I have a dream to visit this city one day.

    The feeling, the images, the sceneries you just penned it so creatively. I think I read it too many times and everytime I just wish it lasts a bit longer, I need more of this.

    Fantastic job and a nomination from me <3

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Sigh, where do I start.

    My Jayne,
    by the power invested in me, I now declare that it is absolutely forbidden for you to ever use complicated metaphors again.

    like seriously, you tell me you wrote this in under 10 minutes, and this is what we get? you serious?...have you NOT noticed how well and just how profound you work with simplicity? have you NOT noticed that? ..Okay I'm gonna tell you. STICK TO IT OKAY. okay, you're the big sister, but Its my right anyways to pull your ears. x0x0.

    let me get to the poem,
    I don't know what to say for real...for real...FOR RIEL.. cause this, well this is the Real deal.

    I like how its so so so so different from you, but still they are the little MelyMel's trademarks in there that are rarely missing in any of your poems , and I love them by the way, I love love love them... its just the way you always bring them forth again and again in such refreshing ways.. I can't get over them, and to be honest.. all of them seem somehow to me, things that easily represent something to you..thus, beside sounding nostalgic and poetic they captivate some kind of personal meaning.

    "Your tongue spoke of"

    "With time I realized"

    "backyard pond"

    those are just some of the little things, you always bring back to us.

    let's see. I love how you went for surrealist painting instead of any other movement in art, correct me if I'm wrong but the surrealist had to do with the thoughts of Sigmund Feud and how he said that the truth lies in the unconsciousness, in the darkest parts of a person.. so it kind of make sense when you bring in the "I was born to write dreams" in the next stanza...I love that by the way, sometimes you just come up with such quotable phrases, damn.

    "My reflection is a reminder that a heart is never
    enough in the city of love"

    as much as I want to love this phrase, for how cleverly worded it is, my heart is Bias and it makes me hate it, only for the meaning behind it...

    a part of me, really really wishes you would've made this longer. ):

    like the ending is strong, but strong as in it pulls you in even more instead of schoking you... and leaving you like WOW.

    it kind of makes a good emotion, for something to follow of.

    Okay, there's nothing wrong with your ending, I'm just slightly bitter the poem ended -____-

    Gorgeous writing Mel,
    I really have no words this time.
    its breath taking. I wanna read it out loud damn it.

  • 12 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Mel- I just had to read this out loud, it was so incredibly beautiful and made me speechless. You go through many realizations in this piece, and I begin to feel your nostaglia and memory of this man, how you call him Paris cause nothing else is as beautiful. But then it's like your soul matures, you realize sadly but accept that love isn't a fairytale, knowing you won't go back again.....and the realism of your relationship being brought down like the city Paris, not as grand as you first saw it was.

    This whole metaphor was very unique/touching, you made it incredibly deep and personal. I just can't say much more. Each time I read a certain part- I kind of get more thoughts as to the meaning behind the lines, you just write with your soul and it is profound! Gives me something new to think about!

    Beautiful beautiful beautiful, you are poetry Mel!

    keep it up

  • 12 years ago

    by Angie

    Oh Mel its been a long time since I've commented and I do apologize for that... you have always penned beautiful works of art, but this piece, I don't know, it just really touched me in ways that I can not explain, all I can say is Bravo... it brought out feelings deep inside me while reading, I was sad, melancholy, reminiscent, I "felt" your words... I could go on and on but I don't want to bore you with that, I just want to say that this is a masterpiece and so one of my favorites...

  • 12 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Jesus Mel.....Im so teary eyed right now....First of all I want to commend you, I havent added a poem to my favorites list in a very long time, but this poem is most definitely deserving of revisiting!

    Can I just say, the creativity behind it. WOW! I just wish I could harness that creative mind of yours and borrow it for a few poems lol

    I absolutely loved what you did with Paris, how you called this person Paris throughout the whole piece.

    "but I will call you
    Paris anyway because you are far
    too beautiful to be anything else."

    Seriously..what a stanza...most caring thing I've ever read in a long long while!!

    Paris fell more remarkably than the London Bridge.
    Towers burnt and I haven't been back there since

    ^^ I love hear how you compared something beautiful, to something beautiful that has crashed down...These lines were foreshadowing to me that whoever you are writing about is about to fall apart as well...Incredible!

    I'm the opposite of a Narcissus, Paris.
    My reflection is a reminder that a heart is never
    enough in the city of love

    ^^ Again I love that you are calling this person Paris. I think it really adds to the tone of your poem. You were adding more seriousness by saying it again. And that second line was heartbreaking!

    I love time but time doesn't love those
    who cower behind written words..

    .. like I do.

    ^^ This part here reminded me that we all make mistakes. Adding "like I do" was a remarkably nice touch!!

    Mel I loved this, youre an amazing writer!

  • 12 years ago

    by Lu

    Mel your writing always has the power to move me in ways not many others can. I feel your words pulse through my mind, perhaps because I always feel I have lived them at some point in my life also.

    We are far too much alike aren't we? But since I am years ahead, I will tell you your future looks wonderful :)

    I'm the opposite of a Narcissus, Paris.
    My reflection is a reminder that a heart is never
    enough in the city of love.
    The puddles always mirror you and
    I swear I saw you in a window last night
    but you faded as quickly as you always do.
    This is my favorite part. It has that touch of mythology that I have grown to love in your writing. A poem from Mel without a pinch of mythology would just be ... well not a Mel poem that's for sure ... lol
    And with the "opposite of a Narcissus" and the reflections and puddles made my senses come alive and created such soul touching imagery.

    I was expecting to read of Paris in such a different way with perhaps a golden apple attached but you took this in such a creative turn and created such an amazing unique masterpiece !!! Yet still managed to incorporated that mythological touch you are known so well for.

    Wonderful read Miss Mel ! (As always)

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Those metaphors are outstanding...
    The main thing here that really shone was the creativeness, the title was simple, it didn't draw me to believe what I expected it to read.
    As I knew your creativeness well beforehand, so I guessed I would read somehting special.

    By golly was I right?
    It just spoke of a love...charisma and sadness beyond yourself, you really are one heck of a writer, with the ability to leave me dumbfounded and speechless.


  • 12 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Mel- very few words that can be said about this piece after reading, still blown away when I read it.

    Congratulations on the win!!! So happy you got it :)
    Keep writing always

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    Great poem Mel. The most part I liked was the second stanza... It is great to see you personifying a big lustrous city like Paris and relating it to your own experiences.. Not only did u show us how Paris can be alluring to the eyes and ears, but also you showcased its darker sides.
    Lovely write

  • 12 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    How it takes me to these wonderful places i just wanna read it all over it suits me, too. deserves the win!

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Please make this longer.... add some 300 more stanza's or so :"(

    I love time but time doesn't love
    those who cower behind words I do.

    so Paris, won't you ............................

    nxbkfkasdgkjasdg PLEASE

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Still crying over this okay

    "I've studied beauty on your lips like a surrealist



    *burst into the song E.T by katy perry*

    you're supernatural....extrateriestial!

  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    I cannot, by any means, imagine Yaki pulling your ears, bahahaha.

    Mel, I confess that I didn't read this when it won, I read it after that. Okay, I'm guilty! Fling me in jail or something! :(
    Mel, I confess, too, that


    When people tell you that they cannot get over this piece, BELIEVE it!
    Okay...I'm not going to analyze your poem in this comment because it looks lunatic and jumbled and in complete mess and far, far, FAR from rational and I can't think of any poetic word to describe this write, right now, y' 'FFFFFFFF marvellous' poetic???

    Mellll, melll, MELLLLL
    gimme some tips, huh huh huh huh
    please! :(

    I feel so simple-minded reading this lmfao, the tower part when talking bout art and then about him, saying that's something wonderful but I have seen beauty on your lips...omfg and when you said you're too beautiful to be called anything other than Paris....the city of love and some where foreign to you...should I swear or will you simply believe me? i LEARNT IT BY HEART!

    the frogs and ponds bit was a killer...I just felt you were speaking of some kind of fairy tale and how disappointed you had been afterwards and LOTS of things just bumped up in my mind, stirred up memories and just....made me tearful..



    I'll say something...okay
    just later let me just get over least
    at the very damn least the excitement...


  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    Jesus! God! Wow waw waaaaw!

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Oh god, Nano is as obnoxious as me.. lmao

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Hhmmm we left Mel speechless XOXOXO

    I'm not surprised, she's always so quiet anyways

    Lof ju Fresita!

  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    Lets write a song together bout this baby baby babaay!

    Mel,oh mel I just cant get over this!