Jenni, You have definately grown as a writer since I first met you, this piece showcases your talent, to incorporate emotion without necessarily speaking directly...

I am feeling that this piece is about growing up and learning who you are in the guidance of a mother but at the same time, wanting to still be small and young to crave the love and warmth she gave you, but there also seems to be a part here that is saying that your mother isn't who you knew her to be and that she hasn't been your only influence in life.

I like this piece for it's emotional aspect, yet gentleness and flow

xxxx

I have read that two times now, Jenni, and the magic your piece brings is unmatchable.. and doesn't fade away.

I love the moon, whatever way someone uses that. And in here, you related that to the relation between you and your mother. It was then, that you stepped on my senses.

It was awesome, and so poetical, they way you took off. 'Abandoning my skin' -- I can imagine that your young skin wouldn't fit you anymore. You are growing, and you need to be free from the maternal bond, which appears to be so strong, maybe strict, too?

I tried to hide my breasts, Mama
to be your little girl once more,

^ I am sure this will WIN next week. Gosh, Jenni.. Jenni... you struck my core with this piece. You are awesomeeeee let me hug you, lol :p

'Hiding Breasts' ? What were you thinking? I mean.... surely that is an invincible image, and speaks of everything. It's great how you said you did that just to stay your mamma's little girl, and that is of course, not to hurt her by growing up. You know how mothers can be... belittling you always because they never want their children to grow beyond their arms.

And 'Mama'.. I like to use that a lot, because I always hear sad violins playing at the saying of 'mama'. this is beauty, Jenni!

What not to adore about this?

"but they loomed anyway..." -- it showcases the fact that you have grown beyond your mother's hopes. And it is so hard to show that. I'm having a poetical heart attack now.

Reminisce with me,
lilt my favorite lullaby again
for there are only few moons left
until you talk to me from
woman to woman..

^ Gosh! How deep is that! You want your mother to have her last 'taste/look' of you before you completely step into the mature zone.

The ending wowed me. It carries some subtle messages, but wait... you are probably referring by 'moves you' to the fact that you would be moving away from your mother, and with 'doesnt bring you further' you mean even if you are afar physically, you are very near emotionally.

JENNI, goddess.
This is INDESCRIBABLY ......... indescribable.

Wow Jenni this poem is great:)
I truly liked how you wrote it:)

Sorry double post

Ohhhhhh Miss. Jenni.

I have only been reading your poems for about 6 months, and they have gotten better, and better!! Its amazing the stuff I've seen you post, but this was is awesome!!

The thought of growing up scares me, I'm already 21, my mom 50, I'm soon to be a mom when the time is right and I will watch my children grow and go through these feelings...

I tried to hide my breasts, Mama
to be your little girl once more,

^ I love how that is not inappropriate at all!! Its so true! Thats one thing that makes a mom realize her little girl is growing up. Again im about to be 21 and my mom hates that I have breasts and they are hard to keep hidden. lol

This poem was beautiful Jenni. I see why you posted it under sad, because growing up is sad, it shortens our time!

Jenni this poem is so awesome!!! I love the title itself, there's an image I think is so beautiful and magical but when you read the poem there's that sadness within the words - it draws you in.

I loved the first stanza - the idea that you do not want to be like this person (of course at this point I was not sure who you were referring to until further on in your poem) I did wonder who it was about. I knew it was definitely a relative of someone because of the whole doppelganger (love the word)

I love the second stanza. It makes me think of someone growing up - a child becoming a woman and going through changes. This person has reached a point in their lives where they are developing mentally as well as physically.

The idea that you will scribble birthmarks on your own body so that you do not look like your mother makes me wonder if there is something about her that you are not proud of or ashamed of? I think it goes much deeper than just the simple idea of not looking like someone. It's like you don't want other people in your live thinking that you are her in every way, that you are not going to end up like her.

I think this is a wonderful poem. The flow was beautiful and amazing. A very deep poem filled with emotions and questions that I am asking and things I am wondering.

Awesome write hun!!!

x

This is a great poem girly :]
great job!

5/5

You are amazing dear Jenni, your imagination rules a talented pen. Excellent

That was a deep and meaningful poem... you can really tell that the writer dug inside feelings and turned into this great metaphor.... nice job Jenni:)

Not gonna make this a long comment, but I thought you should know that this poem moved me. I love everything you had to say. The imagery, the diction, everything was perfect. Wow. That's really all I can say. Great job. Very very great job. -Nik

Oh Jenni, I love to read your work but this.....is truly epic the flow and the emotion cut right into me and I swear I must have read it four or five times this is one to be really proud of I'm sure many can relate and I love it :-) xxx

Jenniferrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. MY Jennifer! (Sorry, TJ, but I had to, lol!)

You have been my passion ever since I met you; my passion in everything, essentially in poetry! And this piece is so damn deep, so damn like you. I mean....like how on earth could you turn an ordinary feeling between every girl and her mother into a heartbreaking poem? I sometimes feel these stuff myself when my stepmother just makes me feel I'm still her baby, lol. It's just the way I interpreted this piece is so heartbreaking to me, makes me remember every fight we had, haha. I love everything about this poem, especially the breasts and birthmarks metaphors! They told your idea, simply. I love how you said 'few moons' instead of 'few months' or something. So original!

The line you put unexpectedly about making her proud tore my heart to thousands of pieces, I felt so so so related, it just stirs some truly hard emotions in me, when someone talks about making someone else proud with that someone hiding something in themselves, haha, did I make any sense? I so LOVE your ending, it is what made the poem for me, like literally I had chills, because it was so true, sad and deep. Man, you are so talented, like SO talented, y'know! I felt that everything in this poem was effortless, straight from the heart and so real. Do write more!

"Reminisce with me,
lilt my favorite lullaby again
for there are only few moons left"

This is really metaphysical to me like I can picture it but I see its much deeper, even from the beginning of the poem I've felt involved with the poem as reader while I watched my own imagination unfold the events you inspired <3

Very meaningful. I am speechless with this poem, I have nothing to say about this but only appreciation,. Gush! How can you write like this, Jenn? I feel I am in love with your stuff, haha, lol! That's why I am longing to read more poems from you because they are really wonderful, ever!
~C

Very well penned piece Jenni.