Forever Yours

Huge improvement from the last piece. Great job. Word choice is better and the flow is much smoother. Fantastic

I didn't mean to double post, but since I did, I'll leave a comment actually worth something.

Getting past the sorrows,
Your finally happy again,
Finding out secrets,
I'd rather not know.

^^ I love that this is how the piece starts, it invites the readers in. Though it is direct enough to make the reader feel as though its a piece for them... if you know what I mean. I love how it is something lots of people can relate to in some way or another.

Our past may have been troubled,
But our future together is bright,
We both have our worries,
But together we can make it.

^^ Again this is sweet. It lets us know more of the background in order to see there have been trials and tribulations, but everything is healing up now. The reassurance of "together we can make it" is a very nice touch.

I believe we can make it,
To make it through everything,
Even if everyone is against us,
We will fulfill your dreams.

^^ This stanza is amazing. I like the reiteration of the "together we can make it" cause that really shows how much you care. As for the "We will fulfill your dreams" that's nice to know cause it shows if shes happy you are too.

To be with you is a blessing,
Your the light of my life,
I'll never leave you again,
In yours forever.

^^ Wonderful way to end it. This really would make any girly smile so it looks like you did your job.

All in all, the piece is an improvement from your last. It has a lot of heart and it is very well written. The flow is very smooth and seems to be a lot more easy to follow. Word choice could have been stronger, but I guess thats true for almost every piece.

4/5

~MRK