So You Want To Die

Great write 5/5

I always try to be as honest as possible when commenting, so I apologize in advance if this comes a bit too harsh..
There are thousands of other poems here with that rhyme scheme and thousands others who've taken that topic in all possible sides and angles. A little uniqueness would be nice.

"You said you wanted to die
So you smoke weed and wonder why"

This is a forced rhyme. Putting both those lines don't really make a sensible sentence. He wanted to die, but he wondered why he wanted to die? Queer.

"I wish I could help
But I sit and wonder this to myself"

Help and myself are not perfect rhymes, and the sentence structure is quite awkward if this is a vent. Venting is letting out all your emotions, and this really is not how you talk, right? 'wonder this to myself' is grammatically incorrect.

"Why do you hurt me so
What makes you that low"

Punctuation is important. It helps with the flow and emphasis, such as in these lines. A question mark would heighten with asking the question. Again, this is forced rhyme.

"I love you with all my heart and soul
But all you want is a stupid bowl"

This is obviously forced. It was never even introduced that the guy had a fascination with bowls. It was clearly only inserted here for rhyme. My advice to you: Do NOT sacrifice clarity for rhyme.

"I want to forgive you
Believe me I do"

This is okay, not particularly strong or the highlight of the poem, but... okay.

I feel the emotion over-burdened the poem all throughout. It is hard to show genuine emotion while rhyming, but the mouthful of emotion, forced rhymes and nonsensical phrases you choked the reader with here brought this poem down. I'm not being mean, but I'm trying to help you because I see a lot of potential. If you could tame your emotion and stop forcing rhymes, you'll come out with a beautiful piece. I suggest you write a free verse, and I'm sure we'll see your talent shine better. Keep writing
-X

I almost cried. This poem is so meaningful, I love it, thank you so much with sharing this with us, I LOVE IT So Much, thanks, 100/100