Please Stop The Pain
by BooBear May 11, 2012
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A tear rains down her hollow cheeks |
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Latest Comments
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11 years ago
Your no good" she (has) always(been) told
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11 years ago
by BooBear
Thanks anyways but i feel like u changed the meaning at some points. i wrote this from pure emotion and thts how i wrote in in the moment. i appreciate you taking your time to help me, but i prefer it the way i wrote it.
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11 years ago
A tear rains(runs) down her hollow cheeks
She gasps for breath,(because) she cannot speak
Her heart is a cage for her dwelling soul
"Your no good" she (has) always told
The ache spreads through her feeble core
She's no longer accepted by whom she (was once)adored (by)
She falls to her knees, and shatters like glass
She's hit like(she were) the enemy by the (so called)family she has
Pieces of her lie on the ground,
She was once picked up, then thrown back down
(at last)One last blow, she's(been) given
(now)She lays in pieces and begs for an end(end to come)...
-Katelyn Iris Roberts
there you go sweety and email me not put it here okay? -
11 years ago
It's a good poem darling some minor errors i should sugest to read the poem once again and see those errors lol but it's a great poem!
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11 years ago
by BooBear
Would you mind helping me with the mistakes. i cant find them
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