Dying inside

Good poem. Nicely written:))

Kul

Lovely piece Shanix.

Karla

I love how you said you were watching your monitor as I do sometimes, so I totally get that lline. . . .. I did appreciate the flow in this poem, it was nicely read in my mind. . . .. I agree with xanthe, about the spelling errors other than that , it was a good read and a great piece of poetry. . nice job penning this.

:)

"I sit here watching,
watching nothing on my monitor,"

I'm fond of the way 'watching' was repeated. It underlined the restless sort of vibe in this piece.

"am lost in the cries of a lost soul.
I try to mix my music
but am only hearing your cries"

I rather it was 'I am' or "I'm", but it does show how you perhaps speak naturally, so retaining it would be nice.
"Mix my music" is something quite new to me. Perhaps the persona is trying to listen to anything he can, but he can only hear his/her cries. Hm.. let me just say that when you add a pronoun like 'you', it somehow cut offs the reader. I'm not saying it didn't work here (it did) but just be careful because too many personal pronouns would make your poems unrelatable to a certain reader.

Just typos on can't and wanna.
But I should tell you 'wanna' is not used in formal English. It is accepted in some poetry, but it's best (in my opinion) not to use those.
Overall, a really good piece. I feel the feeling of longing did not overburden the whole piece, so it worked. Keep writing :)
-X