Comments : La Leona

  • 11 years ago

    by nouriguess

    I like how this had a tone, I love how you titled it in Spanish. I love your accent here, I could almost hear you. I imagined in this piece an escaping gazelle trying to run away froma lion, except that a gazelle doesn't hide behind bushes. -.-

    I love some of the images:

    'my skin radiates like
    summer'
    ^

    I love how you said 'radiates' instead of 'shines up' or 'gleams'...etc. It makes me think how your skin is delicious and wanted to that lioness whom for sure was never revealedin your poem and that kept it interesting!

    I loved this poem, really did!

  • 11 years ago

    by Lioness

    The title of your poem caught my eye. I was wondering what it meant and when I read your poem I was like awesome!!! The thing is the words in the language sound so sensual and what you are describing is so strong and powerful.

    The images in this poem are awesome. As I was reading it I felt myself start to fear this lioness for the way you described her, it felt like she was about to pounce me. I absolutely love lions, they are gorgeous but very powerful.

    Awesome write Yaki I loved it!!! Love the word lioness in your poem :D

    x

    • 11 years ago

      by Yakari Gabriel

      I titled this in spanish.. because we already have a lioness on this site.. didn't wanna start controversy! ahahah :*

      mua

  • 11 years ago

    by Lioness

    LOL!

    Yes but the one you described is more powerful than I lol I'd never try to bite you lol

    • 11 years ago

      by Yakari Gabriel

      Hahahahah this poem was about my mother being mean to me...

  • 11 years ago

    by Lioness

    Oh! Wow awesome metaphors then. Sorry that she is mean to you :(

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Beautiful poem Yaki, there is so much fear and rawness in this piece.....I loved the descriptions, that sense of never getting away, the horror of being discovered and not being 'the lucky one'. I'm really sorry this is about your mom being mean to you, but you portrayed this lioness (loved the spanish title too) with such power. Great write :)