Collateral damage

by Vortex   Jun 1, 2012


For every story an end .. happily after or just and end .
That's the movies and fairytales , not the real world . At least not in my world ..
A story started ..
the white knight came , the devil witch died , winter wind stilled down ..
and you would thought that the end had come ..
the happily ever after end ..
But my knight left ,, with every thing else ..
because in the real world you have to give up in the good to get rid of the bad once ..
it's the role of the collateral damage ..
That's not the end .. and time doesn't heal ..
For a second , every day , when you wake up and start the "new fresh day" , you'll wonder if the witch will emerge ,, and if the wind will blow again ..
You'll wonder if it was worth it that "END" ..

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    Loved the meaning behind this piece, real raw emotion seeping out of it. The flow can use some work but then again most of my poetry doesn't flow very well. You gave a strong message here and allowed the reader into your mind and feelings in a way that is easily relating.

  • 9 years ago

    by BlueJay

    I am honestly surprised that no one has commented on this yet, especially with almost three hundred views. I think this piece has a great concept and some unique displays of specific skills, but it really could use a little work. It's just that the piece is lacking a flow and maybe if you tried reading it out loud to yourself, you could see how to fix it or see something i missed in reading this. Also your choice of style was interesting, but it could be tweeked a little or maybe just condensing some of your longer lines will fix it.

    All in all this piece has a lot of potential and I like the point to it, very relateable.

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