Comments : Illuminate Me

  • 11 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Liz i adore your writing, it engulfs me when i read it and then im just left sitting there speechless...this time is no different, i love the language you use in this and as always images, flow and emotion are first class .... A breathtaking wtite x i love it x. Hugs x

  • 11 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    I love the way you express your emotions

  • 11 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    Illuminate my path
    so that the darkness
    within me, hides behind
    the silent shadows,
    ...

    This stanza alone, wow, amazing, amazing. You are a great writer and your poems have never for once disappointed me. Loved this piece.

  • 11 years ago

    by Meme

    Your words never fail to take me on a different journey with every oiece you write. This time the images of dusk and dawn just sticked in my mind as I went through the piece.

    You once said that
    sunbeams would guide
    me but I keep waking
    up with a dimmer heart,

    so much that I cannot
    tell when dusk finishes
    and dawn begins.
    ^^
    sunbeams do show us the way, but we still have to find our own paths to walk through. The picture or perhaps the confussion of knowing when dusk finisges and dawn starts was breathtaking, it made me think so deep ..

    The forced breaths I
    take on those sleepless
    nights don't help ease
    my angst.
    ^^
    It felt like suffocating when you said "forced breaths" as breathing is something we have no control off, but here you managed to change it into aomething that you do against your will.

    illuminate my path
    so that the darkness
    within me, hides behind
    the silent shadows,

    so I'm finally able
    to breathe on my
    own.
    ^^
    You begged for the darkness to hide, not to go away which made me wonder a bit. Usually we want things that hurt us to go away, but you wanted it to hide as if you were to face the darkness once again in another time maybe. And the ending just showed me that all you want is to be able to have control over your own decisions..

    Loved it, Liz :)

    xx

  • 11 years ago

    by Karla

    Amazing! Simply amazing Liz as everything you write.

  • 11 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Within darkness there is always light... its just the fear of that light... how I perceive it to be anyway... Liz... you manage to once again touch me with your precious words... I love this piece...

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    Illuminate my path,

    I thought that This poem was written to God, asking him to illuminate you. I like it very much, this is a poem that I will continue reading. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by nouriguess

    Yeah, I too thought at first that you wrote this to God, but again when I read the 'once you said' I changed my mind. Perhaps for a friend? Not a lover, for sure. I had this pure feeling reading this, Liz, the same feeling you get while praying or something. That is why I somewhat agree with Luce about the dedication. I thought this was sad kind of, a bit dark, and it's as if you feel desperate, in need of something/someone who has this power on you. It just felt really well-written.

    'illuminate my path
    so that the darkness
    within me, hides behind
    the silent shadows,'

    I love how you mentioned 'path' here. I love how the word spells anyways. But what I enjoyed was the way you made me feel as if this path you are talking about is inside of you. Not outside.

    However, I have one minor thing here. It's about the use of commas, I felt it was distracting. Not ignoring the content and complaining about the surface, I just felt that you shouldn't make a pause when un-needed. The comma after 'within me' wasn't needed. But that's it. The rest is awesome. :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    You once said that
    sunbeams would guide
    me but I keep waking
    up with a dimmer heart,

    ^^Liz...This is simple yet totally awesome, the sadness is sort of gently scattered here, as not to overpower the poem...

    so much that I cannot
    tell when dusk finishes
    and dawn begins.

    ^The darkness begins to show here, how you feel so dark that you are confused about the time...

    The forced breaths I
    take on those sleepless
    nights don't help ease
    my angst.

    ^OMG That is powerful...simple yet so sad and dark I felt really heavy for you

    Instead, I become
    worse with fear and
    begin to doubt who
    I was, who I've become
    and who I will be.

    So I beg you,

    illuminate my path
    so that the darkness
    within me, hides behind
    the silent shadows,

    ^^The above stanza's together make me feel of someone lost, someone who needs help, and is begging for it...with all they have left

    so I'm finally able
    to breathe on my
    own.

    ^^This tells the reader that you want to be free, you want to be your own person and take your own breaths...

    Liz...Never do you fail to amaze me, never do you fail to pen awesome pieces.

    I love how it is simple in it's wording which makes it powerful and deep...

    Great work
    xxxxxx

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    What I really love about your writes is that they are all very relatable. I think your poems speak what the rest of us have trouble expressing.
    Although they don't always boast of complexity and use of poetic devices, it is fairly obvious that what/how you write is from the heart; from real experience. I love that.
    I won't go on and critique this poem. Just by reading it makes me feel unworthy. It's like I'm trespassing into a different world (yours), and I can see/hear/feel everything you are going through. Another thing I love about your poems is that you take the reader into a different world, make them see through your perspective and make them feel..
    Keep writing

  • 11 years ago

    by Matthew Anthony

    Illuminate my path
    so that the darkness
    within me, hides behind
    the silent shadows,

    Wow!

  • 11 years ago

    by Steven Beesley

    There will always be times when we all feel we haqve lost our way or doubts are formed as to what we are doing and where we are going?

    We all seek guidance at those times, whether it be from God, our friends and family on what path we should take.

    Very well written.

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    Another heartfelt write that I loved from start to end. Completely faultless. I love how you peel away the layers of the reader until you get to their heart.

    5/5