Hell on earth

Happiness means nothing,
While I'm living in the past.
When our relationship first started,
But your feelings didnt last.

This is my fav part.

Sad and strong..i luvd it..

Living by your side,
Is just like finding hell on earth.
And even though I still love you,
You cannot help but make me hurt.

^^this part is really deep and painful to know the subject is going thruliving hell with this person. Love should not hurt and life is too short to be living like this.

people don't know what they have til its gone and hopefully you'll make a change for the best soon.

You are worthy of all things good... never forget that :) Strong poem write on!!
Lostlove

Strong piece my frend.

Here's another poem,
I will dedicate to you.
I will write down all my heartache,
All the things you've put me through.
And even thought it all makes sense,
There is nothing I can do.

- Like the starting, it gives the idea that you feel yourself continuosly writing about the same person. Then you explain that the person is someone who causes you pain.
- your second last line needs editing, I think it is supposed to read though, not thought?

Living by your side,
Is just like finding hell on earth.
And even though I still love you,
You cannot help but make me hurt.
It's because of you,
That the devil has not worth,
Just as I don't.

- another strong opening, giving clear imagery as to just what this person has put you through, good strong comparison of hell.
- I think the second last line in this again needs editing, I think it should read " the devil has no worth? " This is a good line, also finishing with the last line shows the low self esteem which you have of yourself.

Happiness means nothing,
While I'm living in the past.
When our relationship first started,
But your feelings didnt last.
And now I'm left to live in hell,
While all you do is laugh.

_ I could relate to your opening of this stanza, it can often feel like you are trapped in the past so can never find the happiness in the furture. Repeating the image of living in hell continues the severe pain that you are feeling inside.

There will come a time I promise you,
When I'll no longer hold on.
Then your eyes will open up,
That day I will be gone.
You always thought I'd have your back,
But you couldn't be more wrong.

- I like the twist in this stanza, you are beginning to turn the poem around into one where you stand your ground and refuse to be pulled under towards hell. Although you can sense how hard it is going to be from your writing, you get the sense that you will triumph.

I'll let you play your sill game,
But then I'm moving on..

- Edit the word sill to silly?
- Good ending, standing your ground and showing that you will become more than this and not let them win.

Good poem, liked the title choice and the flow was steady.