Indescribable ( senryu )

by Baby Rainbow   Jul 18, 2012


Deep pain and torture
during ritual abuse.
Indescribable.

Saffie
21

18/7/12

    report violation
0


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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Lioness

    Yes I totally agree that abuse can be inescribable. I love what you have done with this piece.

    x

  • 13 years ago

    by Xanthe

    I think 'undescribable' should be: indescribable :)
    A haiku is about nature, and a senyru is more on humans. So I think this is a senyru. Also, I counted 5-6-5 syllables, whereas the traditional should have 7 syllables in the second line. But you could pronounce 'ritual' with three syllables, so it's fine, I guess. Just thought I'd mentiion that.

    What you've written here touches on a subject so delicate. It is heartbreaking, and 'ritual abuse' is just cringe-worthy.
    Hope all is well. Great write.

    • 13 years ago

      by Baby Rainbow

      Hi, thank you so much, will fix the spelling error, I am a bit rubbish at grammer :(

      As for the syllables I am happy to keep it as it is because ritual is pronounced with 3 syllables where I am from, but I understand that people pronounce it differently.

      Thanks for advice though.

  • 13 years ago

    by Unknown

    Ritual abuse...so horrible. </3
    My heart breaks reading this... I'd say it is something that can not be put into words... not enough words in the dictionary to express your pain.

  • 13 years ago

    by Decayed

    Interesting!

    Abuse is really terrible, especially if it was verbal!

    I like how you enlightened on the topic with this beautiful, veryyyy short worded haiku.

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