A poem of so sorrowful real story which came in time. You're are an inspired person who translated real actions into a poem for memories. Brilliant lay out lol. I enjoyed it to the maximum extent.

This is a beautiful piece, though it is sad. It's a great dedication. I wish I had more votes left :(

When I read this first in the club, I loved it so much, and re-reading it doesn't take away its luster. I thought the use of the snowflakes was really creative and lovely. It symbolizes things the person could have been if he didn't do it.

Beautiful piece. Keep writing!

Double posted. Sorry, this was just too beautiful :)

I did like this one, I thought it was so devasting and heart wrenching but at the same time it was so thoughtful that you chose to write about this and dedicate a memory of him to people who never knew him. You create empathy for him with this poem because how often have we all felt the weight of the world on our shoulders? It just goes to show that you never really know what someone else is dealing with.

Well done Liz.

Although what happened is really sad indeed, but this is a great dedication to this man. Not an exception to the quality of pieces you deilever, always perfectly penned Liz.

Awaiting for your next poems ..

If only the weight was
lifted off your shoulders
before you jumped off
that ledge, you would have
felt as light as a snowflake,

--- I thought the way, you started was perfect. It sets the image and the reader immediately pictures someone trying to jump from a high distance. By saying the weight was lifted off your shoulders, I thought you meant that the pressure/stress could be gone...

on a second note : I would love to feel as light as a snowflake and perhaps who knows, the wind could help me fulfill one of my dreams which is to fly... though, I would love to have control of my moves and not just be moved like a rag.. that's something that jumped to my thoughts when I pictured someone as light as a snowflake.

perhaps the fall wouldn't
have been so daunting.

--- with this, I'm thinking that perhaps the fall wouldn't have hurt so much... or perhaps, that someone wouldn't have get injured.

Perhaps then you wouldn't
have jumped at all.

and true, perhaps, that someone jumped off due to the stress. So many commit suicide because of stress. It's tough to deal with it.. and if they didn't have any then they wouldn't have jumped.

I often wonder what
goes on inside the mind
of someone contemplating
on taking their own life,
all I see is the aftermath
of blood stained sheets
that cover your lifeless
body and protects you
from view.

---- I often wonder the same, what goes inside the mind of someone contemplating suicide? I guess they can't find any solution to their problems.. the stress is too much and it doesn't allow someone to think clearly before taking one more step off a ledge.

I like how you were able to paint the image of the stained sheets with blood with your words.

Even after the streets are
cleaned and your remains
are gathered for your farewell,
you will always endure
in the hearts of those who loved
you most, and those who
witnessed your demise.

-- That is true, no one will be able to forget. Neither the love ones because they are their loves one thus they will always remember him/her, and the ones who saw the incident could get traumatized from seeing what happened.

I know that you will remain in
mine.

If only you were as
light as a snowflake,
perhaps then you wouldn't
have jumped at all.

-- this sad and heartbreaking as well, I know you will remember the incident, but I do hope that you are not traumatized by it.

What loving dedication to someone
unknown. The mind is a tricky thing.
People become overwhelmed and can't deal
with life anymore. The often cry out for help
but nobody seem to understand. It is very
sad. If only we take some time and listen
some of the suicides perhaps could have been prevented.

I can't comment right now, but :O
I will come back to it...
x

Suicide is our last cry when nobody is hearing us.I feel for him. Great tribute my friend.

Aaaaaaah thats so sad:( I hate these things..

But this poem is perfectly written, great job..

Liz, I am sorry that I didn't comment properly when you posted this, I was sort of in shock and the content was to my heart as you know...

But I am back and I can telly uo now, this was one of the most selfless, amazing poems I have ever read, to write for this person you have never met shows that you are a true angel and your heart is so open for everyone...

it is such a sad thing to write about and to have happen so close to you but you wrote amazing poetry off of that and for just that, you are awesome

x

It couldn't have been easy to witness this and writing a poem will help. I like how you show great compassion for somebody you didn't know yet took the time to step back and appreciate the hurt some people will feel from this.
A snowflake is such an innocent image and works well with this. You haven't judged him in any way, you have tried to understand his plight.
Very clever ending, ties the whole thing together.
regards

What a tragic thing.. to be so desperate to end it all. I know the feeling and it's one of isolation. Excellent write about complete sadness.
TJ

I missed your writes. Where are you?

Liz, this poem really moved me and spoke to my heart. I think you did well covering this topic and I liked your title as I thought it was well picked.

Beautiful piece yet sad too

5/5

Such tragedy you penned so well.. Beautiful tribute.