Ever since...

by Marcus blake   Aug 10, 2012


It's that day dreaming, that loose feeling
I thought If I shed my skin, maybe peopled see me
The end is nearer like the sky after 7:00pm
and those tie dye memory's have haunted me ever since
And those streets I've walked have never been realer
I didn't have a home then, So I didn't have to worry about eating dinner
No girl to hold; and these hands of mine
Got as cold as ice from time to time...

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by XxLastHopexX

    This poem is well written, although I have a couple suggestions. I would remove the word "and" from the beginning of the fourth line, and in the fifth line I would put "more real" instead of "realer." Lastly I would remove the word "dinner" in the sixth line. These are only suggestions, and my opinion by no means counts for anything.

    The poem as a whole is well written and the feeling the last line of the poem leaves lingered with me for a while. Great job, and keep writing.

    • 11 years ago

      by Marcus blake

      I put "realer" cause that's the slang term for dangerous streets; I don't mind criticism thought thanks but when I pen a poem I tend to keep it as is, cause if I edit it to your opinions it'd be what you want and not what I had wrote, much appreciated though...

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