Inside

by TSI25   Aug 16, 2012


Silver Flesh stretching taut across
Rotting, popping bones.
Muscles rippling elegantly, gracefully upon
Each muffled crack is
Its breath: honey, whispering a long sweet
Nothing, as beautiful as its mirrored skin.
Silence
As it slowly falls apart

From the inside.

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once youve read through it, read lines 1 3 5 7 9

once youve done that go back and read 2 4 6 8 10.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    How creative is this, it's like three different poems in one, all dark and haunting, but the imagery was very powerful, and the flow was quite smooth. This is very clever, must be quite difficult, I take my hat off to you. Great idea, unique too
    x

  • 11 years ago

    by Burning Angel

    I love the style you used, it was very creative, not many would have thought of that!! It was awesome how you made it work out that way!

  • 11 years ago

    by BlueJay

    My goodness, this is fantastic. Again extremely, powerfully descriptive. Theme and mood expressed phenomenally. The images are... well let me say they had me speechless. I like the title, but based on some of these comments, I guess that was edited? Oh well, mox nix (matters not and I can't spell)

    5/5 of course.

    ~MRK

  • 11 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    Very creative, I really enjoyed it, it is hard to find good dark work sometimes, great job.

  • 11 years ago

    by A Poets Handwriting aka ALISHA

    WOW! That style is very unique. I loved it.
    It would also be quite difficult to achieve!
    Firstly to have it read straight through and understood, then through lines 1,3,5,7,9 and then finally, 2,4,6,8,10 ---

    Well fantastic work!

    The imagery of the piece was perfect.

    One thing I'm not sure of though is the title; I don't really understand it's relation to the poem at all - except you mentioned 'silver' in the poem once. And besides that I don't think it is all that 'eye-catching' to a reader. So perhaps consider changing it to something more appropriate..? That would be my only critique.

    Love it. 5/5

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