Forgotten Files

Fumbling through files,
I come upon an ancient artifact,
one left somehow undetected;

The smile,

The eyes,

and I can feel that day like a hangover,
water-stained sickness waiting to
leave my lungs.

The moisture doesn't come, it remains dry,
like the ground out here in the middle of a
high desert plateau waiting for the winds to
blow away every drop of wilds we spent
good times with..

Shadows, ghosts of what I was,
dancing around in my head,
kicking and cursing,
trying to punch a hole in the patience
this perserverance has purchased.

I don't scream anymore.

There's little reason to believe the scouring of
my throat will heal this haphazard hellhole that
I call my head.

In every day there remains light, some calling
to cast out the cells of consciousness that cater
to this catastrophe I'm carrying
around in my chest.

Change is the only constant and in that I'm
content to let it climb down the ladder of my
spine until it slips away entirely into the sins
that were yesterday's solutions.

I doubt I'll ever forget the first days of a
fledgling love, no matter the future that flew
into the way and smashed into another
smoldering single digit
ejection sequence.

The silent stares wondering if the world
will stop spinning while the past piles up
and waits to be recalled to rejoin the
frontlines, a soldier that should have been
removed from the reserves.

Forgiveness never was the father of my faltering.
No alignment to the annoyance that anulled
our annuals. Tiny fears flocking into fleeting
light background patterns that just
fade the faces into facades of a
future that never comes.

I'll forgive your foolishness, your forgetting
the foundation of everything
I forged.

At least now I know for sure where
your fancies were taking me...

Into the flames
of failure and
forgotten files.