Oh my I really want to cry and I'm not one to be made to cry so easily trust me only the mention of suicide will do it and this is a great piece hun 5/5
6 years ago
by Midnight Sky
Sad poem really good though this girl wants to speak but nobody hear's her or want's to hear so she don't try but she just want's to feel apart of something i like how you use the mirror only there you can truely see yourself sad yet good p&l midnight sky
6 years ago
Wow this one is so sad... whay a powerful poem you wrote here.
The first stanza is great. You bring to life a person in a dark room or slightly lighted room just enough to see her own pain in the mirror. Eyes really do show so much emotion they really can scream in a way to see hurt. I love how you describe her tears as black because black can go with any dark emotion there is like anger or sadness. I think that is very clever to put it in. Lol. I love yhe metaphor! . You can cry for anything that you want to. But again I love the connection between the tears and the past and whats to come. If your has been horrible then I can see the connection there!. And whats to come is nothing.
I love the lips sealed tight part. As she is maybe mute or she was sworn to stay silent from someone harmful in her past. Very creative there. Yes so many years ago so you open up her past a lil bit to tell me that something happened but its vague! I love the word play of pas, present and future. She sees her future as hopeless and thats why she is so sad. The present is just as hopeless because maybe she lost everyone she loves or just built up a fear of rejection. The present also tells me that maybe she blames herself for what is happening. But being stuck in the past is difficult. There are so many things that can haunt you. I've beenthere and still going through it. You did a great job here of portraying a character that ccould be based on reality.
The silence does scream sometimes more then words or a voice could ever do. When you are alone with your thoughts the silence is the last place you want to be. Her heart is a fireeork in the sky. Meaning her heart could be full of anger as she is with her though or very scared w hich is more likely!. Silence is an unforgiving mistress all of the time and I love how it scream suicide. And omg! The mirror at the end I love because she is the only one that can save herself but it might be too late. I love this just wowwww 5/5