Comments : Plucked at Random...

  • 11 years ago

    by Amreen

    Awwwww..... Utterly sad piece. You took my heart away with this and the way you pictured the sad demise of those little flowers, the bitter reality seem much hurtful.
    Excellent piece.

  • 11 years ago

    by Khalid M Darwish

    So sorrowful! I loved the last stanza the most, especially the last line. I can't hide that I wanted the poem not ending.

  • 11 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    When I heard the news yesterday I was in shock.. I couldn't even talk about it on the thread you posted, but this morning I come on and I read the beautiful dedication to those precious children and their family's... The title says it all.. they were plucked at random.. senseless act.. just precious little ones at school, learning.. the metaphor of the flower buds, and the perfume lingering... aww Hellon this was a beautiful dedication... just takes my breathe away...

  • 11 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Its terrible to hear of those dear children who
    have lost their lives...and as a mother it just makes my heart cry..no words can console those parents who have lost their children and children who have lost their parent...a moving write..

  • 11 years ago

    by Liz

    Thank you for sharing this. I woke up this morning and inevitably heard more news of the tragedy and it brought me to tears. I work at a preschool, and of course, they have drills for every kind of situation.. but you never dream of these mock drills actually becoming so real. This poem has also brought me to tears, everything is real. A very moving dedication to those children that lost their lives. And even to those who didn't, but witnessed and were exposed to such violence :(

  • 11 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    Very touchingly penned on this sad day. Young children plucked from their roots, before they could have had a chance to bloom. Senseless and inexplicable loss. Innocent lives that depend on adults for nurture, victims in the hands of a trusting adult.

    Just wondering if "fragile" instead of "young" would be more appropriate to convey the thought in the first stanza.

    Second and third stanza with a little rewording may convey a bit more........

    Seedlings so lovingly sown
    nurtured with tender loving care
    fragile rosebuds that never opened
    pruned before the bloom.

    Empty windows, curtains drawn
    where smiles once bloomed
    lilies lay lifeless, in shattered vases
    perfume still lingers in the air.

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    Oh Hellon, thank you so much for writing this. It's a lovely dedication to those precious babies who were definitely plucked at random. My heart breaks for their families, I couldn't even fathom to know what they are going through.

    I'm not going to pick this apart and tell you what I love because I love it all, but even if I didn't, it shouldn't be picked apart because of the meaning behind it. It's breath-taking.

    I will most definitely be nominating this come Monday.

  • 11 years ago

    by Exostosis

    A beautiful dedication. Writing anything more will not be possible at the moment.

  • 11 years ago

    by yogi73

    Beautiful yet sad poem. Love is never forgotten.

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Hellon...you made me cry :(...biatch ;)

    I'm always emotional when it comes to anything involving children (Perhaps because of my 2 year old?) so I'm going to come back when I'm in a better frame of mind, for now I'll say, beautiful tribute.

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Hi Hellon I decided to look through peoples older stuff and the title of this drew me in and I wasn't going to read it at first but then I went back to the page it was on and it seemed to jump out at me. I must say I am in tears writing this and remember vividly about what happened and this piece is a sad, telling tale of how heart-breaking it was then and still is now.
    A very fitting title.
    Em

  • 5 years ago

    by Maher

    Ya know, Hellon, I don't think I've commented on your work before, so I thought I'd find your oldest one on here, because that's what I like to do. They're usually the most honest and heartfelt.

    Would you believe that I was right? Too bad if you don't. This could even be a song and what a song it'd be.

    Thanks for sharing it with us all :)