"5. I think I only loved because I was lonely."

...my heart

"5. I think I only loved because I was lonely."

...my heart

Loving the new format now and the effect this has on your poem.

:)

Love it:)...

Genuinely, one of the most interesting pieces I have came across in a while on here. I liked the format, each stanza was its own entity but were also linked by recurring images such as coldness ('frozen,' 'I could tell by its 'temperature,' 'still cold, too cold.' etc) This tone of frostiness is consistent throughout the poem and the use of 'frozen' is effective in the end: It is as if the process has reached its completion (as the poem has) fingers and your emotions/will is frozen solid, can't get colder. I really like the last part: 'Don't ask. Don't ask for more.' It is pleading but almost resigned, as if the process of writing or of expression has left you without the energy to continue. It is as if you cannot ask any more of yourself in terms of writing poetry and in terms of struggling on with other issues, it is as if you are exhausted and need a break, a hibernation from it all.

'This pond is revealing the worst of me.' - I thought at first to myself, where did this pond come from? But it works because the poem doesn't need to set scenes or paint detailed images or make full sense on a literal level. The meaning behind this line is deep and gets at what I think one of the big themes of the poem is: looking into oneself. I also liked how you used 'tripped,' as if some unplanned or unwanted event acted as a catalyst to make you examine yourself, rather than you self-consciously deciding to look into a mirror or reflection in a pond etc. This often happens in life, stumbles or events cause us to look inwardly, sometimes we can't help but do it, and I think this third stanza was a very intelligent, personal and original way of describing this.

The first two stanzas really grabbed my attention, I thought they were well written. In the first stanza it is as if you are insulating yourself and your senses from the cold of the outside world (or the cold reality of facing up to the prospect of examining yourself). Ultimately of course it proves fruitless, and there was a feeling it always was going to be so. I like how you placed 'Lavender couldn't grow.' on its own: it helps make it a bold statement which helps define the tone and direction of the poem.

The second stanza reads almost like a conversation within your own head, which is good and obviously reveals the personal nature of the poem if it wasn't already clear. 'I think I only loved because I was lonely,' - Great line, very self-confessional and shows how the thoughts inside you are coming out and cannot be supressed by earphones etc. I think the straightforward, honest way in which you say it makes it all the more powerful: nothing false or embellished about it, but very revealing and well placed in the poem.

Overall, obviously, I liked the poem and really got into it. The way of wording was unique and the confessional style is interesting for the reader. I was reminded of the line from an Ed Sheeran song: 'It's too cold outside for angels to fly,' as I think that tone is similar to what you create: one of a cold, unforgiving outside world and a fascinating look into the equally cold and unforgiving human self-evaluative mind. Great write

The format of this piece was unusual, but on top of that, the wording and the stanza's had a different meaning every time, there was a sadness, there was nature, there was love, albeit a lost love, a vulnerability that seeped out of the whole piece.
very uniquely written, and very well as well.
Much deserved the win, well done
x

II.

There's something stuck in my chest without a name, couldn't be an embryo for my heart lacks warmth like the weather of my country. They say it's the birthplace of saudade. Maybe that's why I haven't written as of late. My will is broken, my hands are broken, my heart is broken.

I think I only loved because I was lonely.

^^^ that one i really can relate too sadly i have had my cruddy loves before but you put your soul into this poem and it shows! :) good job girl! :) 5/5

Queen Ashlin

I thought the layout of this was clever, I can only assume that 5.28 is the time of death.
The 'sing me to sleep' line is great, a clever way of describing dying. This poem is so very deep that you could write a 2000 word essay on it fairly easily. There are clever deep references scattered throughout, I will pick a few out,
'This pond is revealing the worst of me. '
As the scene is so cold I can only imagine that this would be iced over, this would then be mirror like. We could then discuss tips of icebergs etc, with the reflection just an image.
' I think I only loved because I was lonely'
This is the best line in the whole poem. So many people can relate to this. This one line could be a poem on its own.
In reality the poem is fairly short, but is says a huge amount. Clever write and worthy of 7 points.

[Weekly Contest Comment: 1/7/13]

What I love so much about this piece is how it reads and how it flows; it's not your typical four or six line stanza, or however many lines. It reads like the reader is taking a step into your thoughts. Separating the poem into parts to
just with the simple Roman numeral had a way of speaking for itself. The end reminds me of a musical piece coming to its climax, its final chord that can leave someone just wondering at the conclusion. It had my heart torn:
"I think that death is trying to sing me to sleep. My fingers are frozen. Don't ask. Don't ask for more." Is the poet speaking to a past lover, or a presence in their life that is using all the energy they ever had?

I love the atmosphere of winter here....it's nostaglic, raw, and eerie. I felt the emotions fully rolling out, not confined to lines or rhythms but openly viewed by the reader. The emptiness described in this character is constant throughout the piece, revealed in different areas but showing it is not just the heart that can be broken. Thoughtful and haunting piece.

I don't know how I only just now found this poem, but it has captivated me and left me so speechless I've read it like 5 times now and still have nothing significant for this comment.

Going in my favorites. Love your style and voice.