Memories fade but feelings persist,
Enveloping my mind like an inescapable mist.
Colouring my thoughts against my will,
A burning drive to remain still.
It seems peculiar so very odd,
That people look for answers turning to god,
Unable to accept that they're in control,
That kind of responsibility does take its toll.
Crushed under all that weight,
There's no wonder why we hate,
Ourselves, each other, our very lives,
Always hiding behind some disguise.
I feel the despair, all of this pain,
All my dreams just seem to drain.
And yet hope burns eternal,
Attaching meaning to things external.
Without intrinsic motivation,
I begin to ponder my creation.
Why am I here? What am I to do?
Why do I chase what I pursue?
But in the end everything fades,
All jumbled up in a blinding haze.
I'm left alone, naked in the dark,
With no passion, no vital spark.
Can this bland existence even be real?
Or am I fooled by illusions ideal?
I think therefore I am, but what am I?
Who is this person gone so awry?
Perhaps I'll never fully grasp,
The purpose of my temporal task.
Why I've laden with such emotion,
Or why I feel lost in and endless ocean.
Sometimes I do feel complete,
Like life is a challenge that I'll soon beat.
Like me and the world are in harmony,
That everything works just for me.
But everything fades, this is no exception,
And I'm so sick of my quest for redemption.
Perhaps it's best just to give in,
Stop searching and submit to sin.
Forget the world and all its empty promises,
Admit I'm forever alone with my own consciousness,
Trapped and tortured, twisted and bent,
My young life is all but spent.
