Something new. Something worse

I got to find something new. Something better. Yet I can't. Deep down I know I deserve worse the life before me. I deserve this pain, emptyness, these voices I hear more as everyday goes by. How can I hope and stride for better when all my hope is gone and I know I'm nothing. There is yet someone to prove me wrong on all I have ever said. You may fight it but I see deep down you know it as we'll as I do. I know I can never change, I may never be who I was years and years ago. Perhaps you see that to. Perhaps that's why you all act and treat me as you do. You all see I'm a waste of time, waste of space, waste of skin and bones. A nothing. A nothing that just breaths and walks your earth. You are all right to say what you do, do what you do to me. You all see what I've truly become. I know sorry are only empty words. My actions, these voices, my words, my steps, have all hurt you. One day I swear I shall take care of it all for good. You shall never be in pain at my fault again.